Attraction 2

7. An explanation

Gabriel walked into the building and went straight for an elevator. He walked in and I busied my self by counting his heartbeats in my head just to pass time. I felt so small in his arms, he really did grow a lot. He's always had muscles and has always been bigger than me but now..... I am probably insignificant compared to him.

Maybe that's why he didn't like me anymore. I could still remember that he told me he loved me. However, I knew that he didn't anymore. We were young then, and I should move on from it but I just can't, besides it's just been a year and some months.

I didn't notice when we got out of the elevator. He walked down a wide hallway with doors by the sides and then stopped at one of the doors. He reached for his pocket, brought out a key and then started trying to open the door.

" You can just put me down.... So you can..." I tried to say..
" Shut up" he said, stopping me from finishing my sentence. I frowned and deliberately dug my fingernail into his arm but acted ignorant of what I was doing. He didn't give off any sign that he felt what I was doing but I knew there was no way he wasn't feeling it. But still, I dug my nails deeper.

He finally opened the door and strode in with me. Just when I thought he was going to put me down and I could look around the mostly grey living room, he walked into a small passage and walked into another door.

It was a bedroom, his bedroom. I tensed up. He walked towards the bed and carefully put me on it. I stared at him, his hands placed by my sides on the bed as he stared at me, his face so close to mine.

My eyes lowered to his lips. God! I looked back at his eyes but he was staring at my lips. I blinked. Is he going to kiss me? I thought. I shouldn't want this right? But I wanted it. I wanted him to kiss me. He's kissed me many times before and I just hoped he would again.

I had completely forgotten that my finger was still holding his flesh, until.
" You really hate me now, don't you?" He said. I was taken aback for a second. He was now looking at his arm where I was pinching his flesh. I quickly withdrew my hand but the flesh was now red, and even a little flesh was scraped.

I immediately felt guilty. I looked at his face and he was now looking at me.
" I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...." I said, my voice low.
" I deserve it. No need apologizing" he said. I dropped my gaze. I wasn't quite sure he deserved it. I was probably just being selfish. I didn't own him. He never asked me to date him.

Did he just use me? Well.... Apart from kissing me, he didn't do anything to me, so using me was a big word. Maybe he just..... Or maybe he got tired of me. I can't remember how many times I've gone over this in my head, trying to find different ways to put it.

I felt tears threatening to surface but I tried pushing them back, still it won't go back.
" What do you want to eat?" He asked, now standing to his full height. I kept my head down.
" I want to go back to my dorm" I whispered but I could tell he heard me. Yet he ignored

" What will you eat?" He asked again.
" I said I want to go back to my dorm" I yelled, now looking up at him. The tears I've been holding back, now freely falling.
" I don't want to be here, Gabriel. I don't want to see you, I don't want to be anywhere near you" I screamed at him. I couldn't hold it back anymore.

As much as I didn't want to bring it up, I couldn't when he was acting like he never abandoned me in the first place.
" You can't just appear in my life and disappear and then appear again. I know I'm nothing to you so please stop leading me on. Stop making me feel like you care about me when you actually don't" I added and quickly stood up.

I stormed towards the door even though I had no idea where this was or how to get back to school. Just as I got to the door, I felt strong arms wrap around my body from behind me and pulled me into a hard chest.

" I'm sorry" he whispered, leaning his head on my shoulder.
" I'm really sorry Liela" he repeated. I instantly got flashbacks of us before, but I shook my head aggressively. I can't be so weak.

" Gabriel let go of me... I want to go...." I cried as I tried to wiggle myself out of his arms
" Liela I'm sorry.... Please.... I can explain please...." He said and he sounded desperate as he held me tighter.

An explanation? I wanted an explanation. I turned around to face him and he let me, finally taking his hands off me. I looked at his face, meeting his blue eyes but I lowered my eyes, staring at his chest instead.

" I don't want an explanation" I lied. He tried holding my hand but I took a step backward. He frowned slightly and turned his back at me walking towards the bed.
" You're not going to explain anymore?" I asked unable to stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

" God Liela.. let me think" he said frustratedly as he turned to face me.
" You abandoned me" I yelled, more tears falling down.
" I didn't abandon you Liela" he yelled back.
" I had to let you focus on your studies. You weren't focused at all and you kept having bad grades and that was why you failed and had to repeat the class and that was my fault. It was my fucking fault so I had to fix it" he yelled.

" I had to let you focus because I didn't want you to repeat another year... Do you seriously think I didn't pick up my phone to call you literally every single fucking stupid night. To fucking try to do video calls with you. God Liela! I know I'm bad and I could do a lot of things but I could never stop thinking about you. I never stopped and I never will" he continued.

" I called Abel almost every day to ask about you, even though he kept asking me to talk to you myself. I had to beg both mom and Abel to send me photos of you, cause I wanted to see you. I wanted to run home from school every god-damned day" he yelled.

I stared at him, processing his words.
" Why are you yelling at me?" I muttered, more tears streaming down. He seamed really frustrated, closing his eyes and opening them again.
" Liela" he said calmly.
" I'm sorry I raised my voice at you" he said walking back to me and I just cried.

" I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything" he said and once he got to me, he took my hands in his
" Come on.. please don't cry" he pleaded. His voice so soft, he used his thumb in wiping my tears.
" Liela. I swear I wanted to talk to you everyday. I know that I hurt you, but I had to do it for your own good. I promise you... I wanted to talk to you everyday. I wanted to see you. I didn't visit home often because I knew if I visited, I wouldn't want to go back" he sighed.

" Liela, I thought of you everyday. There were times I simply wanted to do video calls with you and just ask you to fucking strip. I know that's probably inappropriate to you, but I wanted to do it. I missed you so much. I missed kissing you, I missed touching you. Your smile, everything about you" he stared deep into my eyes.

" I... I had to put down a warning and sought of secret bodyguards to watch you. To make sure no one tried to bully you at school because I was worried and... Well... I also worried you might like someone else" he said and at that, I raised my head to meet his gaze, realizing that was why everyone stayed clear of me like I was a plague.

" I know I shouldn't have done that but I couldn't help it either. When I heard you were going to write your final exams... I stayed up all night. I was anxious because I was fed up of abstaining myself from you. I texted you because I didn't have the courage to call. And when I heard you passed, I felt really happy and relieved" he explained, now holding my waist with his left hand, while his right hand was cupping the side of my face.

" I didn't know things would end up like this. Liela.... Please forgive me. I thought I was doing the right thing" he said. I felt so much relief listening to everything he said. I knew he wasn't lying and even if he was I'd like to believe this lie because I wanted this to be true so bad and I really was sure it was.

" You..... You, but.. you must have seen.... You ... don't you have a girlfriend?" I asked. That was the only thing I could think of at the moment. That was the only thing still weighing on my mind.

I have never written any chapter as long as this in all my writing on Wattpad history. Lol. I've been gone for a long time and.... I had to write this.

Work isn't giving me any time at all. That's why. I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long.

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