OBSCURE

18.

If this doesn't make me cry anymore
이게 나를 더 못 울린다면

If I can't make my heart tremble more

내 가슴을 더 떨리게 못 한다면

How can I die once like this?

어쩜 이렇게 한 번 죽겠지 아마

But what if that moment's right now, right now?

귓가엔 느린 심장 소리만 bump, bump, bump

~ black swan,bts

Night stars were outshining the dark, a anonymously attractive glow in the welkin. Behind the clouds a thin crescent shaped white glow beaming its presence. It was beautiful, the beauty was seeming to fade the dark on earth. Just the beauty of this wonderful light sky was visible in dark forests away from the brightly glowing city lights.

The road ahead to the jungle was calm, almost silent,no passerby, no visitors, no disturbance, the calm was chilling and cutting through the deep contrast of beautiful light full light in the cities. A little mist covering the air , brezee of calmness floating through souls, voices of dogs and forest voices growling their presence.  

Lights of black car beamed in the darkness, making their way towards the darkest paths no one would like to visit at this hour of the time. It was calm, the car was swiftly making it curves through the jungle road, breaking through the spell of calm and unwelcomeness in the environment.

It turned to one of the side paths from the main road, wobbling and making its way through the rough road, soaring in the deep darkness and calm, the misty air intensifying its cover. Crunching leaves under the car tyre were saying the story of this forgotten paths, yet she was their making the way.

Making through the rough paths , coming in through the deepest path of forgotten jungle, the car came to a halt. A large iron gate welcoming the flashing lights of car, it was adorned with green plants, and long lost creepers, some white flowers grown on it, it was a abandoned place and the gate was long lost unopened. There was nothing visible just the iron gate through car flash.

There was a moment of silence, not even animals making a sound.The person inside had her hands on the wheel, gripped tightly that her knuckles turned red, blood were filled in them, and so does her eyes, they were red, the tears of blood a moment to fall. She was standing infront of the place of her horror, the graveyard of her life.

Y/n never held the courage to come here in her last seven years of hell life, but yesterday when she just died, her mind and heart only raced for a regret. No matter if it hurts, but sometimes goodbye's are necessary and she was here to say one, she was here to uphold the truth in her for once after the seven years, at the very same day.

She wiped her face with the palms dripping with sweat even in the cold winter,opened the gate of her car, her hands shaking, but she has to do it. Past hurts the most, scars leave the worst impression on oneself, just the only hope letting her live, hope of death, a peaceful one.If she would have died yesterday, no matter what this regret of unsaid goodbye would have gone with her to the afterlife.

Standing out of the car infront of the iron gates imprisoning her soul and worst memories, today she was just trying to face them off, even if it means to open and bleed with scars of past, it is what she has to do , she has to live until her death not owing anything to anyone, not even herself. She can't be happy not in this lifetime, she knows, so it's better to something which at least will give her peace, painfully but will give her  the tranquil she yearns.