Dearest Bilbo

Chapter Four

Occasionally, during random moments in his life, Roac the Raven would appear and brighten Bilbo's day. He could be outdoors planting, strolling through the market, or visiting with a neighbor when a shadow would happen upon him in the form of the large bird.

"Bilbo Baggins!" the raven announced happily on this particular day, finding Bilbo gathering seed from the flowers just outside of his front door.

"Roac, my friend! Come inside, I've got your favorite meal waiting."

He actually looked forward to seeing the creature, and not just because of the letters he brought. If it were possible for a bird to have a sense of humor, Roac possessed one, as well as a rather sarcastic wit.

This week's letter was from Fili and Kili, of course. Kili was the most dedicated letter writer and Bilbo received a message from him at least every other week. However, this was the first from Fili, and Bilbo excused himself for a moment while Roac feasted on his meal.

Dear Bilbo,

I guess falling from such a height didn't do me much good. I was out longer than the others and it took a while for my head to heal. I still stumble around a little, but I'm doing much better. Kili insisted that I write, although it's taking me a while to finish it. (It's me, Kili! I'm helping him!) Sorry about that. There is so much work to be done here and I don't know if we'll ever finish it all. Kili and I are excited though to see this place as it should be. When we were little, Uncle Thorin used to tell us all about his home and how grand it once was. I'm beginning to see a glimpse of that vision, but there is still plenty of work to keep us busy. Once it's all complete, I do hope you'll join us for the next Durin's Day Celebration. Everyone will be so happy to see you. I will write again soon. It's Kili's turn to use the desk now.

Sincerely, Fili

Dear Bilbo,

I'm glad you're getting along with Roac. He can be a real jerk sometimes. When I was little, he used to peck at my ears and I would pull his feathers out. He hasn't liked me ever since. The front gate where Smaug came through is almost fixed. You should see it. I'll ask Ori to draw you a picture of it sometime. Things are coming together and we're all quite pleased with the progress. Except Uncle Thorin of course. He's still sulking around for some reason and everyone's afraid to speak to him. But you don't want to talk about him. I get it. He can be hard to get along with sometimes. We still miss you and hopefully when the work slows down, a few of us can come to the Shire for a visit. It's been too long since I've raided your pantry. Take care, Mr. Boggins! Did you catch that?

Sincerely, Kili

Bilbo was still chuckling when he tucked the letter away into the bottom drawer of his desk where he kept all his messages from Erebor. So far, he had received several from Balin, Ori, Bombur, Dori, Kili, Bofur, Fili, and even one from Dwalin – if two sentences could constitute a letter, one telling him to not neglect sword practice.

The ones from Bombur were most enthusiastic and usually contained a new recipe he was trying out. Apparently, Bombur had been named Master of the Royal Kitchen and had his work cut out for him. He often complained about the lack of necessary ingredients, however. If Bilbo could manage it, he would love to send a wagon to Erebor loaded with the things his friends needed. He just wasn't sure one would go that far. Perhaps, he could send word to the elves. Surely, Thorin had mended his relationship with Thranduil by now, and the Elven King would be willing to help them – if he wasn't already. No one ever mentioned the elves, except for Kili of course, whom Bilbo believed to be quite enamored by the red-headed elven lass who had saved his life. He'd be sure to ask Kili about her in his next letter, which he set to while Roac was still here.

Thorin. Yet again, as if he indeed had any control over his mind at all, always seemed to invade his thoughts. It came to reason that whenever Bilbo thought of Erebor, Thorin would come to mind as well. Along with that reminder, however, was the all-too-familiar ache that accompanied it. It was a discomfort that Bilbo couldn't yet define, though he had the suspicion it had something to do with disappointment. After everything their friendship had suffered; the struggles in the beginning, the victories toward the end -- to watch it all fade to a shadow of bitter regret was nothing short of a disaster.

Dear Kili,

I have failed to ask you how things are progressing with your elf friend, Tauriel. Did your Uncle find it within himself to accept her presence or are you hiding her somewhere in the palace? I do wish you all the happiness you deserve. That everyone deserves.

Before he wrote something too pathetic, Bilbo decided to take a break. He scooped more seed out for Roac, who chirped at him with gratitude and stepped outside to breathe in some fresh air. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, even the sun didn't seem to shine as brightly these days, and the colors of the flowers growing in front of his smial weren't nearly as vivid as they used to be. But his pipe still worked just fine and he passed some time smoking his favorite blend before Roac joined him on the bench.

"Another delivery soon is coming Bilbo," the bird squawked at him.

"What? Another delivery? What do you mean?" Surely, he wasn't about to receive more letters so soon. That seemed rather extraordinary!

"So heavy, old Roac couldn't carry it! It will arrive on foot."

"On foot? Whose foot? I mean, feet?"

"Roac doesn't know! Roac is just a bird!"

Bilbo chuckled lightly. "Do you need more seed or water perhaps? I haven't completed my letter just yet."

"No, no. Thank you, Bilbo. I will sit and rest while I wait."

Quickly, Bilbo finished his smoke and returned inside. His mood was better and he felt it was safe to complete his letter.

...Roac just told me about a large delivery coming. I do hope none of you have done anything foolish. I am not the one having to struggle to get by! It is I who should be sending you things! I will try to figure out a way to help, even as far away as I am. Until such time, you are all in my constant thoughts and I pray Mahal's blessings for you.

Sincerely, Mr. Boggins

Bilbo glanced over his letter, convinced Kili would get a kick out of his signature. The lad was full of a love for life and for elves as well, apparently. He sincerely did hope that things worked out between Kili and Tauriel. Bilbo once believed that love was a common thing, easily found in the most obvious places. Now that he was a grown Hobbit, he was convinced that was not necessarily so. Love was certainly not common and more than a little difficult to find.

At one time in his life, not so long ago, he thought he had happened upon such an 'uncommonality' himself, but these were things he was no longer thinking about...so he put it out of his mind and hurriedly rolled the message to attach to Roac's leg.