Come To The Light

The Poet

I shouldn't feel this way. Not yet at least, we just met like 4 or 5 days ago and he's not even into guys. I tried to convince myself it was just a genuine friendship, y'know? The bond people get when they're good friends. But then this chick rolls around and it's like everything is different, I feel different. It has to be just a friendship, that's what it is.

Felix is still asleep, I only got at most four hours. My arms are around him and he seems so peacefully asleep, I just want what is best for him and what makes him happy. Even if it isn't me. Our friendship, I mean. We're good friends, I'm glad I met him, even if it'll only be for a short while.

I'm watching TV, but more so just staring at it and drowning in my thoughts. I want that girl to go away, we've had enough happen in the past few days and I know she will only stress me out more. Him too. His episode last night worried me, I don't ever want to force him to talk about it but I really wish he would. I want to help him and make him feel better, but it's hard when I don't know what I'm supposed to help.

A loud knock is heard on the door.

I swear on everything that is unholy I am so thirsty, if I drain that woman and leave her on the side of the road I am absolutely positive no one would notice. More people would benefit actually.

Felix shifts around before his eyes flutter open, God dammit I missed my chance. I take my arms back and look at the door, "It's probably no-"

"Hello?! Are you awake yet?!" Her voice pierces through the door and I sigh deeply in response. I don't know how much longer I can pretend this doesn't affect me.

Felix looks over at me, "I'll get it."

Please just stay in bed with me.

"Alright."

He gets up and drags his feet over to the door, cracking it open just enough to peek through. "What?"

Her voice is like a dog whistle and cats hate dogs. I hate her. It fits.

"Good morning to you, Felix! I wanted to stop by to ask if you wanted to come get breakfast with me!"

Oh absolutely not.

Felix is silent, just staring at her. And right when I think he's about to accept the request out of the 'kindness of his heart', he slams the door and locks it.

That's not what I was expecting, but I will absolutely accept that. I hold back a smile as I watch him walk back over to bed and lay down.

I whisper down to him, "Head back to sleep, yeah?"

His words are muffled as his face is buried in the pillow, laid face down, "That was the plan."

I nod as if he can see me and then slide out of bed, I can handle this girl myself. I walk over to the door, tip-toeing almost so Felix can't hear me. I know he would stop me if he knew I was going to 'civilly talk' with her. I unlock the door and the lock clicks, getting his attention apparently.

"Alaric." Felix is now looking at me, his arms propped up to hold him halfway up. "Leave it.. she'll walk away eventually."

I look at the door and then back at him, "And if she doesn't?"

"And if she doesn't.." He repeats, "..I can get her to go home. She'll probably listen to me more than you."

Yeah, because she's madly in love with him. And I do not like it. She needs to go back to whatever asylum she came from, or she needs to be booked in one.

I walk back to bed and slide in next to him, leaning my back against the pillows, sitting up. "Sorry." I mumble.

Suddenly I feel a fist tap me lightly on the arm. I never noticed all the splotches of freckles on Felix's arms and hands, coating his tanned skin. His hand turns to a thumbs-up, and he turns to face me with only an arm supporting him. "Don't worry about it." He gives a tired smile to me, last night definitely gave him more eyebags, but I can't help but gaze into his brown eyes. He pats my arm again before laying down again, fully on his back.

My mind is racing with the things I want to say about him, but how am I supposed to make them seem like jokes? That's what I've been doing honestly, I make the jokes and pray my mind eventually believes that's what they are. Just jokes.

"You're quite pretty." I blurt out and then look over at the wall, "A pretty princess." I save myself with that last statement, I think?

He doesn't respond, but I think he's genuinely just tired because he slurs out, "Yeah I am... a pretty princess." He raises his hand again before letting it just fall down again, he really needs to get some rest.

I clear my throat and look back over at him, "Get some more sleep, it's still early so we won't miss breakfast. They run for three more hours." I tilt my head and gently nudge him, "Don't sleep face-down though, you'll suffocate."

Felix turns over, pulling more of the blanket to himself. I let him have it, he genuinely might catch a cold if he only sleeps in undershirts and pajama shorts. I lean over to grab my booklet, just to distract myself.

Another knock at the door.

I slowly set my book down and slide out of bed to walk over to the door. Felix is knocked out cold so I don't have to worry about him seeing this interaction that's about to go down.

I open the door, already unlocked from earlier, and crack it open. Sure enough, there she is. I put on the most sarcastic smile I can possibly form on my face and speak at a quiet tone so Felix can sleep peacefully, "Why hello there. Are you selling Girl Scout cookies? Not interested." I immediately go to shut the door but she blocks it with her foot.

"No actually, I'm here for Felix." She speaks so goddamn loud.

I grumble and shush her, placing a finger over my lips. "He is sleeping and I'm sure he wouldn't like a sleep paralysis demon in his room so go fix your makeup and then come back." I kick her foot out of the way and shut the door. I lock it again.

Felix jumps up again, stumbling out of the bed and falling onto the floor with a loud thud. A muffled yell comes from outside and Felix picks up his head. "You gotta be..." He gets up slowly, looking for his shoes again.

I sigh and walk over to Felix, "Go lay back down, okay? I've got this under control. I will make sure she gets home. I can't promise it'll be in one piece, but.." I trail off and look over at the door.

Felix seems to wake up at the last statement, yelling now. "We can't threaten her like that, just..." He smacks his head a couple times with his palms in frustration, before taking in a deep breath, and stepping to the door.

He places his hand on the handle, and cracks open the door. "Look, me and Alaric will be in the garden in a few hours, okay? You can talk to us there. Now let me sleep."

She beams up at him, seemingly content now, is this girl insane? And why did Felix defend her? Is he..

"Okay!" She squeals and then her footsteps scurry away.

Felix slams the door and locks it before leaning down and tossing his shoes off, he says nothing to me and then plops back down in bed. I don't even know what to say to him.

I can't tell him how I feel because he'll run off, I can't be mad at her because she didn't do anything technically wrong, I can't get mad at him because he doesn't know. I am at a standstill and all I can do is respect his choice whatever that might be. I will be quiet until he needs me to say something, because that is what I do. If something goes wrong, I will defend him. Until then, I'm just here.