Sincerely, Jayvee

2

We were in high school back then when I realized that my feelings for you were more than just platonic. It brought me confusion and fear.

I shouldn't feel this way.

I shouldn't fall in love with you.

We had casual hangouts, so-called friend dates, which became the highlights of my weeks. We’d spend time together while you cooked, and I'd taste and critique your culinary experiments. Sometimes, we spend time studying together, which always ends up in playful arguments, teasing, and pissing each other off.

“Uyyy, baka magkatuluyan kayo niyan ah,” one of your cousins teased us with a mischievous grin on his face.

I choked on my drink, trying to play it cool. “Ang malisyoso niyo!”

“Asus, friends lang daw, sinong niloloko niyo.”

“Aminin na yan!”

You just rolled your eyes. “Wala nga, grabe kayo,” you insisted, and I awkwardly laughed along.

It was during those moments that everything began to change. I started to notice how my heart races when you're near, how something sparks within me when our eyes meet, how I unconsciously stare at your serious face when you're focused on something, how it made me laugh seeing your pissed reaction, how it makes me happy when I get your attention, and how I love being with you.

Yet, I never dared to confess it. I was scared, and the fear of ruining our friendship held me back.

“May iniisip ka na naman,” you said one afternoon, looking at me with those curious eyes.

Little did you know, it was you.

But what if I had told you about my feelings when you looked at me with those curious eyes?