Love Me Equally ⁀➷ Chat Noir

( 📷 ) ch o16 | falling apart, falling in

"I'll not stand by you, Ladybug."

I felt the back of my throat itch with growing despair. Was I hearing him right?

"What do you mean, Noir Kitty-"

"Look!" His tone came out harsh. I flinched as he set his jaw, green eyes dangerously piercing through mine. "If you're going to trust someone as. . . pathetic as Felix, you might as well forget your partner!"

I felt my blood boil as I shot back. "Felix has seen it all! He's a victim of Monarch, just as anybody else who resides in Paris!" I drew in a sharp breath and calmed myself down before placing a hand on his shoulder gently. He didn't withdraw, but looked away at my touch. "What's gotten into you, Noir Kitty? You've always been there for me, and promised to too."

His shoulders sagged as he hurried to form a reply. When he spoke, his voice was a soft whisper. "I-I don't trust him. Not after what he did to Marinette. The real. . . Marinette."

I felt my heart drop, nevertheless, I pushed on. "Why not just give it a try? It won't hurt anything right?"

Chat shook his head. "I won't go barging on G-Gabriel, ahem - Mr Agreste - like that, no. Not on Felix's words."

Frustration welled up inside my stomach. He didn't have to trust Felix, but couldn't he trust me?

"Chat, whatever Felix did is done and over now. I am the Ladybug right now, the Guardian of the miraculouses, and I feel obliged to get them back to safety. You can't backtrack giving that silly reason as an excuse. What I mean is, you gotta help me!"

The boy looked up sharply, his eyes blazing with ire. I steeled myself to not look away. Done were the days of the past when all I ever could do was obey and bend to others' will.

"I've stated my decision, Ladybug." His voice was cold, his stance harsh. I had already seen Dad and him do this, though. Use this very same tone, narrow down their eye to the very same level and look down on me as if I were a vermin.

"You won't accompany me then?" I pressed. Chat's ears drooped, but I could still feel his irritation stored up in volumes as he shook his head dismissively. He opened his mouth to speak, but I raised my hand. I knew all too well what the words would be.

Don't go. You can't do it. Let alone, without help.

Because I was the weak child, incapable of earning a friend, persistent and annoying that even the ones who knew me in and out would leave me for someone better, anytime, any day. Why would anyone help me, then, to grow into a stronger person?

I was all I ever had. Perhaps even in this verse.

"Alright then. Don't."

Chat rolled his eyes and emphasized his point; exactly what I supposed. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to go to the Agreste's based on that liar's words."

I cocked my head to the side, crossing my arms across my chest. I shall not be treated a vermin, and with every beat my heart passed, my rage only grew. "I am going and it's final. I don't care whether you accompany me or not." Because this will be the last time I ever get to show gratitude to Marinette for bearing with Colette's life all along.

"Colette, listen!" he hissed. "He's a liar; a manipulator!"

"What if he's right and turns out Gabriel Agreste is Monarch all along?"

"He isn't."

"How do I trust you?"

The chord broke, and I realized too late. Anger draped a blindfold over my eyes. Before I could shake it off, Chat had reached his limit. "You'd trust a stranger – a traitor – over me, eh?" he whispered, his voice dangerously low. I could bear shouting, but this. This wasn't something I was made for.

I hurried to make amends, but my brain switched off abruptly when his pupils dilated, the specks in them going off as if they were set on fire. "Chat, I didn't —"

"If that's the case, why not confiscate my Miraculous? You were never the same as the real Ladybug, and will never be!" he yelled, each word piercing through the walls I built like a wrecking ball. "Plagg, claws in!"

Everything that happened next was a blur. I felt my knees go weak when he left along with the wind; he placed his ring in my leather-coated hand, and left his kwami shouting after him, begging him desperately to stay.

When Plagg's huge green eyes looked at me in disappointment, I sank to the road. The stony wall behind froze my back to the core as I sat, for minutes, hours; I've no clue.

"What are you going to do?! Tikki and I at the same place will always end in a disaster!" Plagg whined, and began poking my hair. I clutched my knees to my chest, feeling tears behind my vision.

What had I done? I had chased away the only friend I ever had, and left myself standing on a cliff that might as well crumble beneath my feet any moment. So much for gratitude.

But I hadn't just scampered one guy away.

I had packed two off to a universe away at once, in one shot. And one of which, I had realized in horror a couple days ago, was the one who had stolen my heart.

Maybe this was what hitting two birds with one stone meant, I thought bitterly. The realisation that the kindest boy I had ever had the privilege to know had been him all along was a hit home.

Chat Noir had been Adrien Agreste all along.