tainted love (Niccolò Govender Rossi)

Goodbye Kiss

y mind was a whirlpool of confusion and regret as I made my way to Matteo's apartment. The argument with Niccolò had left me feeling unsteady and conflicted. I needed closure, and I needed to tell Matteo that we couldn't continue. I arrived at his door, my heart pounding with a mixture of anxiety and resolve.

When Matteo opened the door, his warm smile greeted me, but it faltered as he noticed my serious demeanor. "Honey," he said softly, pulling me into a gentle hug. "What's going on?"

I took a deep breath, stepping inside. "We need to talk."

We settled into his plush living room, the comfortable space contrasting sharply with the tension in the air. Matteo's eyes were steady, but there was a hint of concern in his gaze. "What's on your mind?"

I hesitated for a moment, struggling to find the right words. "I need to know—how old are you?"

Matteo looked slightly surprised but answered without hesitation. "I'm 36."

The number hit me harder than I expected. I had suspected he was older, but hearing it confirmed made the reality of our situation sink in. "I'm only 16, Matteo. I'm still in high school. I didn't realize the age gap was this significant."

A shadow of frustration crossed his face, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I knew you were younger, but I didn't think it would come to this. I didn't mean to complicate your life."

I nodded, feeling a pang of sadness. "I need to sort things out for myself. I've been trying to navigate everything that's happening, but it's too much right now."

Matteo's gaze softened, though his expression was still tinged with disappointment. "I understand, Honey. It's not what I wanted either. But you need to do what's best for you."

Matteo reached out, gently placing a hand on mine. "I care about you deeply. I didn't want to be a part of your confusion, but I'm glad you're being honest with yourself."

I looked down at our intertwined fingers, feeling the weight of our final moments together. "I want to cherish what we had, but it's clear that we can't continue like this. Maybe someday in the future, things will be different."

He nodded, his eyes reflecting a mixture of sadness and understanding. "Maybe. I'll be here if things change. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself."

I stood up, feeling the heaviness of our goodbye. "I will. Thank you for everything, Matteo."

I stood up making my way over to him before plopping myself down onto his lap.

"One last time" I whispered in his ear before I pressed my lips against his. I felt his mouth opening against mine, just enough for me to slip in my tongue. We shared heated kisses knowing they were our last. I started to grind on him.

He moaned softly pulling away, second later he pulled me in again.

We shared a final, lingering Kiss. The warmth of his Lips on mine a bittersweet reminder of what we had. I pulled away slowly, looking into his eyes one last time. "Goodbye, Matteo."

I pushed myself of his lap and walked to the door, not looking back.

As I left his apartment, the chill of the evening air felt oddly refreshing. The weight of the past few days seemed to lift slightly, though uncertainty still clung to me. I made my way home, each step echoing the complexity of my emotions.

Once I reached my bed, I sank into the familiar comfort of my room, staring at the ceiling. The events of the past few days replayed in my mind—my tumultuous relationship with Matteo, the explosive argument with Niccolò, and the tangled web of emotions that had led me here.

I realized that I needed to take this time for myself, to understand what I truly wanted and how to move forward. The path ahead was unclear, and I felt like I was standing at a crossroads. Despite the confusion and heartache, I knew I had to face whatever came next with honesty and courage. As I drifted into sleep, my thoughts swirled with both hope and uncertainty, awaiting the clarity that time might bring.