is this the end- Asking Alexandria

You won't be alone in the end

-denis;s pov-

After what felt like an eternity we arrived at the hotel, it was a huge relief when I was able to get out of the taxi. Within the time we were in the taxi I had developed a boner but thankfully it had gone by the time we had arrived.

We were all checked in and were now heading to our rooms,in the elevator we were working out who's sharing with who, we had 3 rooms and I was hoping I could have the single room or at least share with Ben.

We were all arguing about who is sharing and James had,had a strop about sharing with Ben so I decided to step in."Alright James ill share with Ben, you can have my room"

Out of the corner of my eye I'm sure I saw Ben's face light up when I said I'd share with him,did he feel the same as me?

Normally the lads made me feel like one of them in america, but its different here because they know all the slang words and they understand everything, I kinda felt left out and I didn't like it. after we got in our rooms I slumped on my bed and buried my face in my pillow. That's when I felt it.

- Denis's past-  ( this isn't real I don't think its just for the story...MAYBE TRIGGERS)

i rolled my sleeves down and tugged on the cuffs, no body could know what i did, my legs ached from where i had cut myself the night before and my throat burned from purging,  what was wrong with me? why couldn't I be normal. i had no friends, i was ALWAYS alone and nobody gave a stuff about me, whats the point?

-denis's pov-

a tear escaped my eye as i struggled to stay silent if Ben hears or sees me like this ill have to tell him what's wrong. 

after a while my pillow was soaked and Ben finally decided to go out. " I'm off out to the bar with the lads are you coming with us mate?" Ben asked me, his voice made me jump but I just shook my head and pretended to be half asleep. "okay well just ring me if you decide to meet us later on" he replied. Finally i was on my own. I ran for the bathroom and looked for my razor I had set out on the side, did I really want to do this?

my hands trembled, thousands of thoughts ran through my head as i eyed up my now faded scars, here goes nothing, i was slumped against the fall as i squeezed my eyes shut and sobbed loudly, my breath stuttering as if it was cold. And just as i was going to do it something stopped me...

Ben burst through the door and quickly swiped the object out of my hand. The only thought that i had was "fuck!" his eyes were soft but his face showed no emotion what had i done? i head fell low into my hands as i started shaking and crying uncontrolably. I was so embarrassed. 

i didn't dare to look up, he probably had a look of disgust on his face. I felt a hand on my back, i looked up to see that Ben had tears streaming down his face as he pulled me into a hug. This is something that I had never had before. A hug. I felt closure, something id needed for a long time.

we had been sat on the bathroom floor for about an hour now and we hadn't moved, we were still cuddling, we had both stopped crying and i were trying to pluck up the courage to speak. Ben sighed, i could tell he was waiting for me to speak first.

-bens pov-

I forgot my wallet in the hotel room so i went back for it, I'm so glad i did. When i walked into mine and Denis's room he wasn't anywhere to be seen but i soon found him when i heard loud sobbing coming from the bathroom. i dropped my wallet and burst through the door, thank fuck! it wasn't locked or my tour manager wouldn't be happy paying for the expenses of a new door. The sight in front of me broke my heart. i saw Denis, the person i secretly love sat down crying with a blade to his wrist. i didn't think, my first reaction was to snatch the blade out of his react, he jumped about half a mile in the air and his eyes were covered in fear and worse...tears.

i sat down next to his and pulled him into a hug, he instantly grabbed onto me and cried, it took me about an hour to calm him down...I really wanted to know what made him like that. i wasn't going to question him i wanted him to feel ready, to tell me in his own time. 

I heard him stuttering, like he was trying to form the right words, i turned to him and gave him an encouraging smile.

-denis's pov- 

i stuttered,  didn't know how to tell him my "problem", instead i just rolled my sleeves up and took of my jeans. I felt Ben's eyes burning into me as his fingers traced the scars, his touch felt like ice.

I didn't know what to expect, was he going to judge me? accept me, help me, hate me? my mind was clouded with negative thoughts. I needed this release. I felt tears burning my eyes again, I tried to hold them back I really did but it didn't work I collapsed in a bundle of tears, Ben pulled me in for a hug. Why were his hugs so comforting? I sniffled, trying to calm down before I embarrassed myself even more. 

This time Ben didn't stay quiet he picked me up and carried me to my bed, laid down with me, his head turned and he made eye contact. I knew it was coming I just didn't want to accept it. " Denis", he paused for a second figuring out how to ask it without being harsh, "why do you do it?" I knew I couldn't turn away any longer, I was in denial I knew I had a problem. 

I sighed, stuttering and crying every now and then as I told Ben why I had my finger on self destruction. 

I kinda felt better after id told him...I felt happy?

we were still cuddled up on my bed when he started singing. "you wont,you wont be alone in the end, you don't have to be afraid" I joined in, "run free and wild,let your heart soar with the eagles, run free and wild let your love take over" we both stopped and looked at each other with smiles on your faces, our smiles soon faded when Ben's eyes flickered over my lips, I couldn't help but do the same. soon enough we were kissing, sparks and fireworks went off in me! id never felt anything like it, his lip rings brushing against my lips, the cool metal sending tingling sensations throughout me. we both pulled back and smiled. it must have looked like it was something out of a movie, we held hands in silence for a few minutes, Ben broke the silence once again. " every break you take I watch you slip away, your slowly killing your self I wont give in" I didn't know what to say he was gorgeous, funny,talented and now hopefully mine.

I smiled and took a deep breath, "Ben"...I questioned? he looked at me and tilted his head like a puppy. I was nervous as hell , this would make or break us, "will...will you be my boyfriend?" he looked at me with a blank face. My heart sank, had I said the wrong thing? he smiled and kissed me making us both topple over on the bed. we both smiled into the kiss, this is it i have found my true love.