is this the end- Asking Alexandria

i made it out alive

HEY! guys im back im so sorry for not updating for like a month but ive been busy, ive had an email off a band to become their photographer. Anyways here we go.

-Bens pov-

"where's denis?" i asked, the look on james's and cam's faces made me panic, my heart raced and i felt my mouth go dry. 

They both looked at each other and pulled their chairs up to my bed side. Sighing, James took hold of my hand, he looked worried and upset. My eyes darted between James and Cam, finally Cam started to talk. "Ben...Denis attempted suicide last night." The words, they didn't make sence, my Denis? No...he wouldn't...Why?

"wh-what?" i asked, scared to hear the answer, please let this be a dream, please! let this be a dream. I felt tears well up in my eyes, my stomach churned and i started shaking. "Boy Sam caught in just in time, He'll be okay". Relief flooded through me, tears ran down my cheeks, "he-he is?" i asked a smile upon my face. 

"I want to see him" i stated. 

-A few hours later-

-Bens pov-

i had just woken up from a nap and was now having the dip that was in my hand changed. My side still hurt like a bitch but i was feeling slightly better. James, Cam and Sam made me pose for photos in my hospital gown, i was never going to live this down. I swung my legs over the bed and slowly lifted myself off the bed, it hurt, no that was an understatement, it felt like someone was twisting my insides. I think James noticed as he ran to my side and sat me back down. "im going to get you a wheelchair" he said. "NO!" i said, there was no way i was using a wheelchair, i am Ben fucking Bruce. "tough shit" he replied.

Everyone was staring at me, i bet i looked a right twat. I was looking at my reflection through the window, i had dark bags under my eyes, my hair was matted and i hadn't been able to even brush my teeth. I just can't believe the woman i once loved would try and kill me.

My thoughts were interupted by Sam coming in, "are you ready?" he asked. I was so nervous, what if he didn't want to see me? What if i caused him to do it? "i suppose so" i said while slouching into the wheelchair that i was practically stranded in.

-Denis's pov-

Ben got hurt. I could of saved him but i didn't. Once again useless old me wasn't fast enough, why can't i just be fucking normal? Why can't i be loved? I'd had enough of being strong, in fact i wasn't strong, i had been putting on a brave face for Ben, he made me feel safe, loved and wanted. When he got hurt, i couldn't control myself,  i ran straight for the bus crying my heart out, I needed a release. I had told Ben that i had gotten rid of my blades and lighters but i hadn't. 

I was sat in the uncomfy hospital bed, tears streaming down my face like a waterfall and i was struggling to calm down when Cam knocked on the door. He looked happy until he saw me,i dried my eyes and let him come in. I thought it was only him but it wasn't. 

The door opened and James, Cam, Sam and Ben came in. My breath got caught in my throat when i saw him, he looked awful. i couldn't help but cry. My Ben was sat in front of me in a wheelchair and it was my fault, i didn't help him. " we'll leave you two alone then" James said trying to break the awkwardness. 

-Bens pov-

A few minutes had passed and we were still in silence, i'd had enough. "Denis..." i trailed off,  i lifted myself out of the wheelchair and onto the bed, "why?" i questioned him. I felt so bad! what if he blamed me? i really loved Denis, i hated seeing him upset. "i should have stopped her, its all my fault" he cried. It felt like my heart had shattered there and then. I sighed pulling him into a hug. "hey its okay you didnt know, i didnt know, nobody knew what she was going to do, but the main thing is that im okay". He calmed down and smiled. God his smile was gorgeous i couldn't get enough of it. We both snuggled as a scrolled through twitter, before i knew it Denis was asleep on my shoulder. I couldnt resist but to take a picture and put it on twitter and instagram. Smiling to myself i got off the bed and had written a note telling him where i was going. 

As i was waiting for James to come and wheel me back to my room i started humming, im sure i could think of some good lyrics. It got me thinking, i was going to write a song. I grabbed my phone and started humming. " i wont fall down again, my hearts now dead and gone, im still breathing. i made it out alive. By the time i had ran out of ideas james was here, "come on then benny" he said with a smile on his face, god he was always taking the piss.  "hey James what do you think"?