TO SHIELD A SERPENT (TNN - SIOBHAN/VIV)

CHAPTER THREE - WANTING

As Siobhan parked outside The Knight Nursery, she took in a huge shaky breath. That morning, he'd hurt her again before screaming at her to get up off the floor and get ready for work. She'd tearfully done the best that she could, but her back was hurting and her chest had felt ready to burst. Once she'd stumbled downstairs, he looked at her like she disgusted him before rolling his eyes. As soon as she was sat in her car, she'd burst into tears before turning on the engine. The drive to The Knight Nursery wasn't particularly long, so she took a slight detour to allow herself time to calm down. As her tears subsided, Roger's voice rang in her ears and haunted her mind.

"I give you everything don't I? You should consider yourself lucky."
"Just do as you're told and we won't have these problems."
"You're very difficult to love, do you know that? Nobody else will love you Siobhan. Nobody else will ever want you, you are damaged goods."

When she walked into Marjorie's office, the nursery manager looked up straight away. Her eyes were soft as she said "oh, hey Siobhan. You alright?" Siobhan hesitated slightly, confused at the lack of distain or sarcasm. Finally, she replied "I'm fine." She wanted to ask how Marjorie was, but instead she continued "I've got a meeting with a parent, so I'll be in the family room for the next hour. I just wanted to make you aware." Marjorie nodded and said "alright, thanks for letting me know." The tension between the two women was palpable, as both held their tongue and refused to ask the other what they really wanted to.

On the way to the family room Siobhan had to stop momentarily and rub her lower back, it was so sore. Unfortunately, her meeting wasn't with Viv, it was with a mother who wanted to discuss a safeguarding concern. Siobhan nodded politely and listened to her issues, before reassuring her that they'd be dealt with. Once they were done, she watched the woman walk away before proceeding to sit in silence for over thirty minutes. As she looked around the room, she tried to soothe herself by thinking "it's Thursday, so only four days until my next meeting with Viv." She'd never felt more pathetic and as she finally headed back towards her car, she imagined Viv getting on with her life and very likely, barely thinking of Siobhan at all.

Just as she was about to climb into the drivers seat, she heard a voice. "Hello, fancy seeing you here." Siobhan whipped round and smiled immediately when she saw Viv looking back at her. "Hello Vivian, what are you doing here, it's only lunch time?" The nurse laughed lightly and replied "Jamie has a doctor's appointment so I've just come to pick him up, I'm dropping him back off afterwards." She paused before adding "I must have a radar when it comes to you, always in the right place at the right time. Anyway, how are you? I'm looking forward to our next meeting."

For a second, Siobhan wanted to scream. She opened her mouth to say she was fine, but when nothing came out, she closed it again. Viv approached her slowly, bridging the gap between them. "You know you can talk to me, don't you?" Her voice was so gentle. Siobhan looked into Viv's eyes and in that moment, it took all of her strength not to throw herself into the older woman's arms. Her body even swayed forward ever so slightly as she convinced herself to stand still.

Viv looked right back at her, willing her to speak. She said nothing out-loud but her mind was screaming "I know that he's hurting you. Please tell me, I'll help you. I don't know what you've done to me, but I already adore you." Finally, Siobhan replied "I'm looking forward to it as well. I have to get going, but I'll see you on Monday." Just as she went to get into the car she added "I hope everything's alright with Jamie."

Watching Siobhan drive away made Viv's heart ache as she wondered how her evening would be. Recently. Siobhan had been her first thought each morning and her last thought each night, as she worried herself sick. One wrong move and Siobhan would shut her out.

Viv couldn't let that happen.