Before It all Began (Book 2)

12: No More Second Chances

*Acacia's POV*

"Nash. You know you mean the world to me. I'm just so confused on everything right now. I don't know what I want most of the time. But I do know for a fact that I do want you. That's the one thing I'm certain about.  Please Nash just give me one more chance."

"Acacia I know that if I give you another chance I'm never going to let go. And honestly I think I need time away from you. Not like physically but mentally. I don't think I can give you another chance."

And with that he was gone. I didn't see him for the rest of the night. I stayed in the room with Hayes and sat on the bed talking to him. Hayes was always there no matter the circumstances. Will came and brought us dinner and let us know that Nash was going to stay in his room for the night. It was a bit upsetting that Nash wasn't going to be in our room. I wanted to honestly cry more than I already was. The bad stuff always happens to me. I hated myself.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

I excused myself and walked into the bathroom locking the door behind me. I looked around the bathroom for anything to take away the pain. But nothing came up. I sat in the tub and placed my head between the palms of my hands. I watched as the tears hit the tub. I couldn't do this. I'm slowly ripping myself apart for someone who doesn't even feel the same way I do. I always do this to myself. Why can't I just have a normal life? I grabbed my phone and texted my brother Giovanni.

*The messages*

Me: Gio I can't be here anymore. I need to get away.

Big Bro: Acacia what are you talking about?!

Me: Its Nash. I knew I shouldn't have came here. Hayes has been there for me but I can't keep running to him. I just need my big brother. Please Gio. All I need is for you to tell me everything is going to be okay. I don't want to go back to hurting myself.

Big Bro: Caci! You better not be going to your old ways over some dumb ass guy! I will honestly tell mom if you do! And you know I'm not lying. If you pick up a razor from now until you come home we'll send you back. You don't need to cut to feel better. And Hayes doesn't mind. If he did he wouldn't have been there for you through all those times he was. Don't do it. Do it for Luke. For me. Caci I can't lose my baby sister. Not over this. Everything WILL BE OKAY! Trust me. Everyone has rough patches.

Me: How can you be so sure everything will be okay? I was told before and I ended up in the mental hospital. Everyone including you said it would be okay yet here I am again hurting in a much worse pain than I was before. Sometimes I hate myself for putting myself through this and continuing to try and fight through everything alone.

Big Bro: Caci, you're not alone. You just said Hayes was/is always there for you no matter what. You said yourself you can always go to him. Forget about Nash and be there with one of your best friends. That's all you can do at the moment.

I knew Gio was right but I didn't want to always lean on Hayes because he shouldn't always be in the middle. I heard a knock on the door and heard someone ask if I was okay. I wiped my tears and lifted my head. 

"I'm fine!" I answered. "Just taking a breather."

I lifted myself out of the bathtub and walked over to the mirror. I looked at myself and looked at how puffy and red my eyes were. I was only a high schooler and was put through so much than most people I knew. I was always told to keep my head up but I couldn't always do it. As I stared in the mirror I only saw the broken down teenage girl I was at the moment and not the happy bubbly girl I was on the inside and who I was before I even had these problems. I turned the faucet on and let the water run a bit before I placed my tan hands underneath it and splashing the hot water on my face. The water burned my face yet felt painfully good. I turned the water off and dried my hands and face on the towel before walking back out to the room.

Hayes was sitting on the bed we were laying on earlier. He looked at me and I knew Gio had to have gotten in contact with him. The worry in his eyes assured me Hayes wasn't going anywhere unless he was by my side. I walked over and sat next to him. I showed him my arms and thighs showing nothing had happened in the bathroom. He placed his arm around my shoulder and I laid my head on his shoulder. Not one word was exchanged between us but a lot was said in the silence.