Hidden Passion [+18]

Doubts and desires

After Marcos left, I found myself alone with my thoughts, the silence of the house amplifying the confusion swirling in my mind. The kiss had been everything I never knew I needed, it was intense, passionate, and undeniably real. Yet, it also stirred a torrent of doubts within me.

I paced the living room, trying to make sense of my emotions. How could I feel such a strong connection with someone I barely knew? And what did this mean for us? My mind kept returning to Matteo, and the guilt of finding joy in the midst of such sorrow. It felt like a betrayal to his memory.

A notification from my phone snapped me out of my reverie. It was a message from Marcos.

-Hey, I hope you're feeling better. I'm here if you need anything-

I stared at the screen, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. What could I possibly say? The feelings were too raw, too new. Instead, I opted for honesty.

-Thank you for being there today. I'm still trying to process everything-

His reply was almost immediate.
-I understand. Take your time. Just know I'm here-

I appreciated his patience, but it didn't make my internal conflict any easier. I decided to go for a walk to clear my head, hoping the fresh air might provide some clarity.

As I wandered through the park, my thoughts drifted back to Marcos. His gentle touch, the way his eyes searched mine, the tenderness of his kiss, all of it was etched into my memory. I found myself wanting more, craving the closeness we had shared. But was it too soon? And what if it complicated things further?

Marcos, too, had his own battles to face. He was driven, ambitious, and deeply committed to his career. His dedication was admirable, but it also meant that he had little time for anything else. ¿Could we really make this work if our lives were pulling us in different directions?

Later that evening, I decided to call Ana. She had always been my confidante, and I needed her perspective.

-Hey, Alex- she answered, her voice warm despite the distance.

-Hi, Ana. I need to talk to you about something- I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

-Of course. What's on your mind?-

I told her about Marcos, about the kiss, and about the conflicting emotions it had stirred. She listened patiently, offering occasional hums of understanding.

-Alex, it's okay to feel this way- she said finally. -You've been through so much, and it's natural to seek comfort. But you also need to give yourself time to heal-

-I know- I replied, my voice barely a whisper. -But what if I'm missing out on something real?-

-Only you can answer that- she said gently. -But don't rush into anything. Let your heart guide you, and trust that you'll find the right path-

Her words provided some solace, but the doubts still lingered. I thanked her and ended the call, feeling a bit more grounded but still uncertain.

That night, as I lay in bed, Marcos' face appeared in my mind's eye. His smile, his touch, the way he made me feel safe. It all tugged at my heart. I knew I needed to talk to him, to share my fears and hopes. But for now, I allowed myself to simply feel, embracing the confusion and the desire, and hoping that the answers would come in time.

The next morning, I woke up feeling slightly more resolved. I needed to face these feelings head-on, to understand where my heart truly lay. I grabbed my phone and sent Marcos a message, asking if we could meet later in the day. His response was quick and affirmative, agreeing to meet at a quiet café we both liked.