Everything I Wanted - Fluff

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(Credits to kyaeilish for the concept ^^ also check out her book its awesome !!)

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted...

I mumbled, scribbling down my thoughs as I sat in the sofa I’d been sitting at since 2 in the morning. A dimly lit lamp light sitting beside my coffee table. The cap of my pen was in between my teeth as my mouth was slightly agape, my breathing switching from my mouth and from my nose.

I rubbed my sore eyes, the lack of sleep affecting my energy. I yawned, resisting the urge to sleep as I fear I might have that same dream again. I doubt it, but I also don’t.

I sigh, Shark coming to sit beside me as he lifts his foot to itch his ear. He yawns as I pet his head, my fingers dragging across his soft but short fur. He whines a little after I lift me hand from his head to continue writing my thoughs, placing his head on my lap in the process.

My eyes were still wide open, not a single thing weighing it down but my own forceful thoughts into sleeping again. I get lost in my thoughts before a hand comes in contact with my shoulder.

“Why are you up so early.” A sleepy voice speaks behind me, the corner of my mouth pulls into a smile as I realized who it was. “Hey, Mama.” I grab her hand and kiss her palm, a soft smile emerging from her pretty lips as her eyes struggled to open.

She began to walk beside me, sloppily stepping on the cold floor as her bare feet tingled at the sudden sensation of temperature. “It’s cooolddd... Why did you leave the bed...” She whines, her arms coming to hug me as she sat on my lap. 

I put down my pen, covering it with the cap that was previously stuck between my teeth. “Just some thoughts keeping me awake.” I nudge the paper to the side, flipping it so the side i wrote on was facing downwards. “What thoughts?” She mumbles, nuzzling her head in my neck as I gently caress her back.

I hesitated, my hand gently combing her slightly knotted hair. I sighed, her hug around me seemingly looser. “Just some thoughts.” I blurted out, her hand playing with my hair. “You talk about your thoughts, any thoughts. But why not these thoughts? Anything keeping you back?” She asked, a moment of silence dawned between us as I has been caught in the act.

“I’m fine, I swear.” I say, sighing as I stared at the emptiness, and darkness of our house. The dim light from my lamp shaping out the small archway to my left, the rest of the moonlight gracing the floor. “Please, be honest with me. You know I hate liars right?” She lifts her head off my shoulder, her eyebrows lightly furrowing at my dishonest answer.

“I just had a really bad dream, nothing significant.” I say, holding the side of her face as my thumb gently touches the warmth of her face. “Baby, you know when I get nightmares I have to accidentally wake you up because I’m trying to squeeze in your arms?” She said, her hand also coming in contact with the hand that I had used to hold her face.

“Yeah? It’s not a problem.” I reply, unsure of her exact motive in bringing up a topic. “I know you would’ve done the same. I’m too much of a heavy sleeper to notice you slid into my arms except for one time but, I know this one is different. It bothers you. A lot.” It shocked me, the way she was able to see through such layers of my lies. The way she knew something was off even if I had reassured her.

“Alright fine, only because you managed to convince me.” I sighed, a small dim smile emerging from her lips. “I... Had a weird dream...” I mumble, her head coming in contact with my shoulder as she lays there. Her warm and steady breath on my shoulder as I’d come to explain my dreams. She listened thorougly, small physical acts of reassurance were shown throughout our talk.

Although she was tired she took her time to listen to my problems, comforting me when I couldn’t speak up about something. “Hey, you know I love you.” She says in between sleepy mumbles, her head still on my shoulder. “What if I don’t know that?” I asked as a joke, making her mumble something with the lines of “Then I’ll make you feel loved.” Before she finally gave in and slept on my shoulder.

I smiled at the last part, hugging her tightly. I looked at the time, which it showed to be 4 in the morning. I didn’t want to leave her cold out in the sofa, but I also had to make a few calls to my management to try and clear my schedule for another day.

I didn’t have much to do, my schedule had some avoidable circumstances but some aren’t. Like photoshoots, I had a scheduled photoshoot today for my new merch drop.

I’m trying not to weigh everything down on one pile. I’m stressing sometimes because of my schedules with press interviews everywhere. I’m trying my best to keep her happier than me. I sat there, she lain on my shoulder, her warm breaths hit my skin.

It’s just the perfect night. “Aslong as I’m here, no one can hurt you.” I mumbled, kissing her forehead and coming to close my eyes and sleep hours that I’d lost.

(SORRY FOR THE LATE POST XX I WAS BUSYYY... HAVE YALL LISTENED TO “Guess Featuring Billie Eilish”? If you haven’t I reccomend you stream it NOW... Also MV came out too!! And a little hint to the next partt.... Its inspired by that song ;).)


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