"What's the point of living if I don't know how to live." I told myself with an unsteady voice.. I picked up the blade,Holding it between my thumb and pointer finger, I locked my bedroom door and drew the shades.
...grabbed my phone and Muted all social media notifications. " I'm sorry " , I said to myself as I set the blade on the cold nightstand, Then I hooked up my phone to the speakers and put my favorite alternative rock band on play setting the volume high enough to unplug me from this "heavenly earth" we live in.
As I walked to my favorite corner ,passing the nightstand, I grabbed my blade and held it in my palm as the artist sang a verse... "Please don't take this out on me because your the only thing that's keeping me alive" .. "Nobody can keep me alive" I whispered to myself as the cold blade slid across my arm.
Adrenaline rushing through my veins, endless amounts of cuts left to right on my arm, As the music is coursing through my mind. Tears slowly trickle down my cheek as the blood bleeds out of my new pain killers.
Finally, I set the blade down next to me.. Shaking vigorously, I stood up and felt the burning sensation coming to life as I held my arms out to see the beautiful work of art I had begun. Sobbing, I wiped the hot tears from my face and put my hair up.
I looked In the mirror.
"Worthless Bitch." I told myself..
Grabbing the blade I put it under all my hair ties and placed it in a box. I immediately regretted my decision but I loved the way it set my emotions free. As I unplugged my phone and turned my notifications back on, I pulled up my shades and opened the window.
Leaning against the screen I felt the wind gently kiss my face as it flew through the trees. I smiled , "Oh what a time to be alive.."
For now.
