Kokujin no Tenkousei - Changed Hiroki

4. Recall

Kaede and Kanoko took some moments to get their bearings before the mother opened the door carefully and entered. She walked inside with Kanoko and saw Hiroki on the hospital bed, hooked to a heart monitor while he is sleeping with a calm expression.

"Hiroki." Kanoko called out in a broken voice as she saw the state of her brother.

"My son." Kaede called out in a small voice.

Both of them have tears in their eyes as the door to the room was closed by Kanoko as they took in the sight of the last member of their small family as he is on the bed and the events of what happened in the house is still fresh in their minds, alongside the words of the doctor.

Kaede moved slowly towards the beside but her legs quivered as she lost her balance as she held the edges of the bed as she kneeled on the floor and looked at her son in despair.

Kanoko was the same but she was more in control so to speak as she stood beside her mother with shaky legs as she looked at the sight of her unconscious brother as his words and actions replayed in her mind as she remembered his unconscious state at their home.

"H-Hiroki..." Kanoko choked out with tears in her eyes.

Her legs quivered as she slowly kneeled on the ground as her tears fell down her face as she beheld her sleeping brother as she cried at the state he is in. The events of the day kept on replaying in her mind as if it was some kind of tape as it was torturous for her.

Kanoko also remembered her other memories with her brother, before she got involved with Kokujin and she remembered all the happy and fun moments she had with him. The care and love that she had for her brother and the same which he had returned to her and the smiled and joy that she was given by him.

'Why? Why did I think all of that about you? Why did you think that about him you stupid bitch!?' Kanoko thought to herself in despair as she remembered her thoughts and actions.

She felt heartbreak at the memories, she felt despair, anger, hate boil inside of her body as she remembered how she had come to see her brother after what Kokujin had done to her. She had went to protect her brother and then started to think negatively of him, even when he would smile and look at him with the same smile on his face.

'He always cared about me and smiled at me. I knew that. I knew that he was always happy to see me. He would talk with me and show his beautiful smile to me. And I... And I threw it at him because of him. Why why why? Why did I do that?' Kanoko thought to herself as she held her head and lowered her head.

She felt her hearth ache as she was on the floor as she cried as tears streamed down from her eyes. Regret pooling inside of her as she remembered the pain she had inflicted on her brother.

She remembered how she had acted after meeting Kokujin and how she had started to think about him due to the guy and she now regretted every second of it. All the ridicule and insults she had thought of him had been playing in the forefront of her mind and she was wondering why she had thought that.

She was kicking herself in her mind for letting her lust take control of her. She was berating herself, demeaning herself, scolding herself, calling herself names, and many other self derogatory things in her mind as she remembered what she had done to her brother.

She remembered how she had caused her brother to gain phobia because of herself and she wanted to apologise to him. She didn't want her brother to look at her with those same scared eyes. She wanted him to look at her with his loving eyes.

She also remembered how she had forgotten his age and started to compare him to Kokujin, despite the fact that the transfer student was older than him. She felt disgusted with herself for allowing the words of the guy to influence her to the point of seeing her own brother in a degrading way.

'How could I think that? Hiroki was such a sweet boy and I... He's only a kid.' Kanoko thought to herself as she looked at her brother for a few seconds before looking down.

"Hiroki... *Hick* Hiroki." Kanoko cried out as she hiccuped.

Kaede wasn't doing much better than her daughter as she also remembered her own actions and wrongdoings as she felt the tears in her eyes. She looked at the state of her son and she couldn't help but choke a bit as she looked at him.

She remembered how she had started to think of him and how her lust had blinded her and twisted her perceptions of her own son like it did with her daughter.

He was just being a darling who cared for her and worried for her, even if he looked at her a bit pervertedly. But could she blame him? He was still a young boy after all. And yet the only thing she had done was belittle him in her mind.

As she sat there waiting for the doctor to call her, she remembered her memories of when the guy started to come to her. And about how she had started to change how she thought of Hiroki after a lot of sessions, as she was starting to slowly believe the words she was spouting due to Kokujin.

And it was only when she was in front of Hiroki that she felt the guilt first, and when Kanoko called him that she was shocked beyond belief. It devastated her at how Hiroki had reacted and how she had also been the reason for his reaction.

She felt her heart break when she heard the doctors words and how her son had developed phobia's because of her. The thought that her son would not be the same anymore because of her own actions was unbearable to her.

What had happened to him had caused her to come out of the effects of the sex she had with Kokujin. And when she realised what she had done, she couldn't believe that she had changed so much and that it took her son being traumatized for her to realise it.

Another reason as to why she didn't look at Kanoko apart from the fact that she had insulted Hiroki was that she had realised that she was becoming like her daughter due to the influence of Kokujin and would've hurt Hiroki if she had spent more time with him.

"What have I done? I never... I never wanted this I..." Kaede cried as her tears fell as she looked at the sleeping form of her son.

'Why didn't I resist him more? Why did I? Why did I hurt my darling son like this? He loved us. He loved me. And he was always there for me.' Kaede thought to herself as she cried.

After her husband had died, she was Kanoko were extremely devastated. After all, they were with him for far longer than Hiroki and his death left a deep hole in them.

But it was something that Hiroki had fixed by coming to their aid. He would always help them, play with them, talk with them and use everything he knows to try to cheer them up and not have them remember his absence.

Because of Hiroki the two of them recovered much faster than they had thought and he was always there for her. He gave them his love and affection and this helped the two of get out of their shells.

Kanoko had stuck to Hiroki like glue when she had first started to resurface and after that she would always try to be there for him. She would always try to speak with him and would smile whenever he was with her as she relied on him.

Kaede was also the same as she relied on her son and she adored him and doted on him ever since. And she has tried to be there for him in any way she can do that she could atleast repay him for being there for her.

And now she and her daughter had thrown his concern back to his face and traumatized him. All for a guy who treated the two as nothing but toys and who liked to belittled her son for some reason.

Kanoko also realised that fact as she cried as she held her head down as tears fell down her face with the same being true for Kaede as the two were on the floor.

'Hiroki... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' Kanoko thought to herself in her mind as she cried.

'I'm sorry Hiroki. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' Kaede thought as she married her daughter's thoughts as she cried on the floor.