It's never gonna go Away

Alec Hardy was at work in his office, sitting at his desk while wracking his brain about a new case once again. Lately, he's been thinking about this case much more than was good for him, giving himself headaches and migraines as he tried to connect the dots coherently. Currently, he was looking at some bad-quality CCTV footage, clicking through every frame and squinting his eyes as if it would help decipher something, leaning close to his computer screen and cursing the people who bought security cameras only to have them record such crappy, pixelated videos with what felt like 2fps.

Hardy leaned forward, planting his elbows on his desk as he kept squinting at a specific pixelated frame. His eyebrows screwed together suddenly when the image blurred in front of his eyes and his head started to swim with dizziness.

The Detective leaned back, his old office chair creaking slightly due to his movement. He took his glasses off and ran a hand over his face, his index finger and thumb coming to his nose bridge, pinching as he squeezed his eyes shut. He waited for the feeling of nausea that overcame him to vanish.

He was immediately distracted from his discomfort when the door to his office opened. He looked up. It was Miller, of course, it was Miller. Who else would come to see him now out of all times? "What is it, Miller?"

"I brought you lunch, d'you like chinese?"

"No."

"Too bad, I already got it." Ellie placed a Chinese takeaway box in front of Alec's nose, before sitting down on the chair opposite his desk and opening her box of noodles.

Alec pulled a face at the smell that emitted from the food. He'd never particularly liked Chinese. It made him feel queasy, but really, that was him with most foods anyway. He looked down at his own box, sighing, before shoving it aside.

"What? Don't tell me you're not hungry." Said Miller, looking up at the DI with furrowed brows. There was no way in her mind Alec wasn't hungry, She's not seen him eat a single thing today. The only thing Alec had consumed throughout his shift, and probably before it too, was tea. He'd been guzzling down tea like it was some sort of energy drink getting him through the day. She had her love for tea but she did draw a line somewhere.

"I'm not."

"You must be. Eat something. You're scrawny enough as it is."

Alec scrunched up his nose, shaking his head. He slowly pushed the takeaway box over to Miller. "Give it to someone else. I don't feel like eating." He murmured. Ellie gave him a weird look, but he ignored it. The mere thought of eating brought another wave of nausea over him. It made his stomach churn the same way it did when he woke up to his shirt clinging to his skin uncomfortably with sweat, with his chest heaving as if he were fighting for his life. Hardy swallowed thickly, forcing down the imaginary bile that had begun to rise in his throat.

"Leave it here at least, maybe you'll eat it later." Said Ellie, pushing the box back to Alec. The man stared down at it. "Yeah, alright." He murmured, placing it aside on his desk before crossing his arms. His gaze drifted to his computer screen again.

Alec dumped the takeaway down the lavatory immediately upon Miller's leave, not standing the smell anymore. He wasn't gonna eat it anyway.

Daisy would've scolded him, then. About how he was wasting food, how he should stop being a wuss and finally eat something. But he just couldn't bring himself to. Each time he took a bite of something he felt like throwing up immediately, swallowing was a whole different challenge in and of itself. And when he finally managed to force something down his throat, the guilt he felt was unimaginable. It clenched his stomach and made him want to curl into himself just because he took a bite of food. He usually ended up throwing it all up anyway. A bit of tea and he was fine and dandy again. Most of the time, at least.