For you, I'd stand still

Three O'Clock

The sun hangs high in the sky, casting an unforgiving heat over València. Despite the scorching weather, the park is bustling with life - families having picnics, children playing, and elderly couples strolling hand in hand. As I walk along the edge of the park, my gaze drifts to the vibrant greenery, the laughter of children, and the gentle hum of conversations around me. I long for this normalcy, a life where I can stay in one place, form connections, and build a future. Maybe even marry and have kids. But that is not my life. I must keep moving, always. Even though I have almost seen everything the world has to offer, I sometimes wonder when it will stop. When will I get to rest?

My heart aches as I watch a group of friends share a laugh over something trivial. I imagine what it would be like to have that - to stay long enough in one place to belong, to be a part of something human. But my curse is a constant reminder that I cannot afford such luxuries. Attachments lead to stillness, and stillness leads to death.

I glance at my watch: 2:45 PM. Time is running out. I've been here too long, growing dangerously comfortable. The shadow of familiarity is creeping in, and I need to leave before it's too late. I never allow myself to stay in one place for too long. Staying creates the risk of forming attachments. I can't afford those. Sighing, I take one last look around the park, trying to imprint the scene into my memory. It's a cruel habit of mine, remembering places and people I can never actually be with.

Checking the street, I cross it quickly when a gap in traffic presents itself. My green flowerprint summer dress flows around my body as the wind dances with its fabric. The weather is endurable, I've never minded the heat, so I decide to walk and see where my feet will lead me to. It's a tactic I've taught myself to prevent boredom and, frankly, the unnecessary pressure of having to choose my next destination.

Just as I turn to leave, I hear a familiar voice calling my name. "Hey, wait up!"

I almost freeze, recognising the voice instantly. It's Mateo. He jogs over to me, Ilsy in tow, her cheeks flushed from playing. My heart skips a beat at the sight of him, a dangerous reminder of the connection I've started to form despite myself.

"Hey," he says, slightly out of breath but smiling. "We almost missed you."

I force a smile, though my heart is heavy with the knowledge that I have to go. My steps slow down but I never cease setting one foot carefully in front of the other. Mateo doesn't try to stand in my way. Instead, he joins my strolling past ice cream carts, cafés, hair salons, and boutiques. "I was just about to head out."

Ilsy pouts, her bright eyes filled with disappointment. "But you just got here."

I close my eyes shortly, trying to keep my voice light. "I know, sweetheart. But I have to."

Mateo's brow furrows, and he steps even closer. The naked skin of my shoulder grazes his upper arm. It's only now that I realise how he towers over me. His chocolate eyes appear darker now as he watches me through those thick lashes. I don't know why, but the way he watches me makes me nervous. How is a man I barely know able to do that? His voice is low when he speaks, and the timbre casts shivers across my skin. "Why do you always have to go? Can't you stay a little longer?"

I breathe in through my nose and out of my mouth, avoiding his gaze. "It's complicated."

I hate having such a cliché come out of my mouth. I hate being like this; having to live with this goddamn curse.

"Life is complicated," he says, his voice soft but firm. His answer surprises me so much that I dare to look at him. I shouldn't have done that because the emotions that dance across his handsome face render me weak. "But sometimes you have to make time for what matters."