The kiss lingers, soft and unhurried, like a thread stitching something broken back together. When we finally pull apart, my heart beats in a rhythm that doesn't feel entirely my own. For the first time, standing still doesn't ache or feel like drowning in darkness.
Mateo smiles down at me, his thumb brushing my cheek as if he can wipe away years of self-imposed exile. "We can go at your pace, Rose. Whatever you need. Just know I plan to stay."
I nod, swallowing hard. The weight of knowing what I know, of my past and curse, hasn't lifted entirely but it feels lighter somehow. Manageable.
The clocktower chimes again, marking the three-quarter-hour. I glance toward the darkened window of the studio. The city feels like it's on the verge of something, holding its breath, and I wonder if I'm projecting.
"I want to show you one more thing," I say, my voice barely audible.
Mateo's brow furrows slightly, but he nods. "Lead the way."
We leave the studio behind, stepping back into the cold Vienna night. The air bites at my cheeks, sharp and grounding. Mateo walks close beside me, his presence warm and steady as always.
I lead him through a labyrinth of quiet streets, past shuttered storefronts and sleeping cafes. We end up at the edge of the Danube, where the water glistens under the moonlight, rippling with shadows. The night is impossibly still, as if the world is holding space for this moment. As if somebody were timing us, the clocks around us chime. Ten o'clock.
"This is where it happened," I say, staring out at the water.
Mateo doesn't ask what I mean. He just waits.
"My parents' car went off the road," I continue, my voice wavering. "Right into the river. I was in the back seat. It was raining so hard I could barely see, but I remember the sound. The way the water swallowed everything so quickly. Them. Me. I remember not being able to move." I pause, my hands gripping the cold iron railing. "And then...nothing. Hypothermia set in quickly. I woke up on the shore, gasping for air, as if the river had decided to spit me back out. They didn't."
Mateo's hand finds mine, anchoring me.
"I don't remember how I got out," I whisper. "Or why. But ever since that night, something changed. Standing feels like sinking, physically tearing my bones and skin apart whenever I do. Like the river is still pulling at me, waiting to finish what it started."
The truth hangs between us, raw and exposed. I wait for Mateo to say something - to offer words of comfort or logic that will make sense of it all - but he just squeezes my hand, then pulls me into his embrace, his silence a balm to my bare nerves.
The clocktower chimes again, its sound faint but insistent. Ten-thirty.
I exhale slowly, my breath visible in the cold air. "I've spent so long trying to outrun it. The feeling. The fear. But no matter how fast I move, it's always there."
Mateo turns to me, his expression unreadable. "Maybe it's not about running anymore. Maybe it's about standing still and letting it catch up to you. Feeling the pain. It's part of the process of growth. Letting go."
The words hit me like the echo of a distant truth I've been avoiding. Standing still. The very thing I've spent my entire life fearing, fighting, fleeing. My curse.
"I don't know if I can," I admit, my voice trembling. Standing still means death.
"You can," he says, his tone quiet but certain. "And if you can't do it alone, then let me stand with you."
The simplicity of his offer startles me. There's no promise to fix me, no expectation for me to be anything other than what I am right now. It's terrifying and freeing all at once.
I stare at the water, the moonlight painting shifting patterns on its surface. It feels alive, like it's waiting for me to make a choice. To let go or to hold on.
"Will you...stay here with me for a while?" I ask. These few words come out haltingly, like I'm afraid they'll shatter under their own weight.
Mateo smiles softly. "As long as you need."
We lean against the railing, our shoulders brushing. The night stretches around us, vast and quiet, the city murmuring faintly in the distance. The world feels distant, almost unreal, but Mateo's presence grounds me.
"I think I lost something that night," I say after a long silence. "Something essential. And I don't know if I can ever get it back. It changed me."
"Maybe you didn't," Mateo says, his voice thoughtful. "Maybe you're just keeping everything buried, and your true self is waiting for the right moment to surface - when it's safe again."
The idea sends a ripple through me, as if he's touched on something I've been circling for years without realising it. Is it really that simple? Is life that simple? Is death that simple?
The clocktower chimes again. Ten-forty-five. The sound is softer now, muffled by the weight of my thoughts.
"I don't know what happens if I stop moving," I admit, my grip tightening on the railing. "What if it's not just in my head? What if it's something real, something I can't control? What if it kills me?"
Mateo doesn't flinch. "And what if it doesn't?"
I turn to him, startled by the simplicity of his response once again. It's refreshing.
"What if standing still doesn't mean the end?" he continues, his gaze steady. "What if it's the beginning of something? Something you've been running toward without even realising it?"
The question hangs in the air, daring me to consider the possibility.
The river seems quieter now, its surface smoothing out under the moonlight. It doesn't look like it'll swallow me whole. I take a shaky breath, the weight on my chest shifting imperceptibly.
"I don't know if I'm ready," I whisper.
"You don't have to be," Mateo says, his voice gentle. "But you don't have to run either. Not tonight."
I nod, the tension in my shoulders easing just slightly. Maybe tonight is enough. Maybe, for now, just standing here - close but not quite still - is a step forward.
Time feels both unbearably slow and impossibly fast, slipping through my fingers like the water below.
YOU ARE READING
For you, I'd stand still
RomanceThis is the story of a girl who must keep moving to survive, cursed to die if she stands still. When she meets Mateo, love tempts her to defy her darkness. Will she risk everything for a chance at true connection, or keep running from the only thing...