𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟏𝟑

𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃

Alyssa Lynch

31st October 2001

With Casey and I dressed as devils and Aoife and Raelynn as angels, we were officially ready to have the best halloween of all time, which consisted of; a shit ton of alcohol and little memory of the night ahead of us.

I hurried amongst the stairs to find Tadhg and Ollie all dressed and ready, which wasn't much of a surprise seeing as Joey and I had planned to take them trick or treating in hopes of them being back home by 9, at the latest.

However, what surprised me was the fact that Joey had managed to dress up too.

"Looking forward to seeing Aoife and her nice legs in that angel costume she's to wear?" I made an effort to taunt my elder twin.

"No." He replied flatly. Liar.
"Mhm, I'll make sure to let her know that."
I giggled, making my way to the kitchen, only to find my ready-to-burst pregnant ma with a pale face.

However it was what lied in front of her which caught my mere attention.

An empty bottle of medication.

I would've brought no attention to what she had just intoxicated herself with for the solemn purpose of me wanting to enjoy my halloween, though I had to say something.

She was pregnant. Very pregnant by now.

"Ma, how many pills were in there before tonight?" I started the conversation on a subtle level. No reply. Great start.

"Ma, how many?" I repeated, desperate to withdraw a truthful answer as I was aware of the fact that she knew exactly how many, most likely to the exact digit.

She avoided my question once more. I sent her an intimidating glare in hopes of getting the answer out of her.  "Mam."

Silence.

Her head was held low, she was avoiding my eyes, she was avoiding me.
Inpatient, I slammed my hand on the counter, gathering all her attention in a split second.
"I can't remember." She replied in a mumble.
"Ma, why'd you take the pills?" I asked, lowering myself to her seated level, seeing as I was several inches taller than the woman.

"He didn't keep his promise." Her voice cracked.

Of fucking course this was about him.

"How surprised were you? No bullshit."
She swallowed a lump before answering my question. "I had hope. He promised."

She was so blind to his bullshit promises it hurt me deep inside.

"Mam-" I coaxed, however found myself interrupted by her sudden exclaim.
"Don't!" She shouted, voice high.
"I can't do this. Not with you." She shook her head, her head in her arms.

Not with me? What the hell?

I could feel myself losing it again, I didn't bother in trying to calm myself down at this moment in time.

"What do you mean, me? Mam why won't you look at me?" I exclaimed, audibly enough for the whole house to hear.
"Because you remind me of him!" Taken aback,
I didn't shout back, to everyone's surprise.