I'm Not the Guy You're Taking Home | LANDAN ✔

1 : Unwind

It was a routine for Daniel at this point, really. Watching the man he was in love with dance the night away against a complete stranger, someone he'd just met, and later on realizing he cannot find said man anywhere for he has left with said stranger.

It was a routine but alas, no matter how many times it's happened, it still hurt the same. And it's not the fact that Lando keeps choosing different men. No, it's the fact that he keeps choosing strangers when Daniel is right there. When Daniel would do anything to be the one Lando brings home. But not for a quick fuck, which seemed to be Lando's style. No, Daniel wanted to... make love, as much as he hated that term. He wanted to show the younger how much he loved him. How much he loved his body even if that was a secondary priority for him.

He gulped down the glass of rum he ordered, rolling the liquid around in his mouth, hoping the burning sensation will somehow overpower the sharp stinging of his chest. Putting down the glass, he got up, and upon seeing Lando leaving the bar with yet another man, he made his way out of the place as well. Like any other night, they got to the bar together and left each on their own. Daniel couldn't complain, though. Well, he could, but he never did.

The fresh air outside felt like a slap to his alcohol-clouded mind. Every single time he left the bar and the music faded to the background, he immediately sobered up and got this weird sense of post-self-pitying clarity, followed by sulking. Why was he still doing this? Nothing's changed the past year and a half, so why does he keep hoping? Pathetic.

He locked the door of his house behind himself, leaning backwards onto it. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Lando with a random man, entangled together, Lando moaning, panting the stranger's name and Daniel's hands shook. Daniel's whole frame shook. He swallowed, dragging his body to the bathroom, quickly rinsing off the sweat, brushing his teeth and drowning his face in ice cold water to try and wash the thoughts out of his mind.

When he finally lay in his bed, the same old hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach, all he could think of was what if Lando was there, in his bed, with him. What if, just this once, Lando chose him over all the strangers from the bar. What would it take for Lando to choose Daniel? Would he have to be absolutely hammered? Or would he, on the contrary, have to be completely sober?

He fell asleep.

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His ringtone pulled him out of his sleep. Grabbing his phone he noticed the picture of Lando's bright face on the screen, indicating the other man is the one calling him.

"Yeah?" he asked once he'd picked up.

"Hey, Danny!" Lando was being a bit too loud for Daniel's hangover. "Wild night yesterday, huh?"

Daniel bit the inside of his cheek. "Yeah. Wild."

"When did you get home? I didn't see you leave."

"Uh... not sure, man, I was pretty drunk."

He heard Lando laugh. "I can imagine! Anyways, do you think I could come over in a bit? I was thinking we could play some video games or something. I'm a bit lonely, haha!"

You didn't seem so lonely last night, Daniel thought bitterly. But how could he ever say no to Lando?

What time was it even?

"Yeah, sure, man. See ya in a bit."

"See ya!"

Great.

Now Daniel had about, what, fifteen minutes? To pull himself together. He kept telling himself not to think about the Lando from last night. If he was being honest, the Lando he knew from the bars they frequented was a completely different person from the Lando in the private of their houses.

And most of the time, Daniel wasn't sure he liked bar Lando.

The bell rang, signalling the arrival of the younger man and when Daniel opened the door, he was greeted by a smiling Lando with coke in one hand and chips in the other. How was Lando not exhausted? Daniel was, and he didn't spend half the night getting railed by someone. Not that he couldn't, he could if he wanted to.

"Are you gonna invite me in?" Lando asked when Daniel kept staring at him, not saying a single word.

Daniel shook his head, trying to focus again. "Right. Come in."

Lando smiled at him again, walking inside the apartment, sitting down on Daniel's couch.

He looked so different from the cock slut he becomes at night. It could be because of the fact that he was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants instead of a half-opened button-up and skinny jeans (which must be a pain to take off every single night) or maybe the fact that he was smiling at him and not some man he just met. Either way, Daniel's chest hurt with how fake his friend suddenly seemed.

"You gonna join me or are you just gonna stand there like a zombie?"

Daniel didn't say anything, just sat next to Lando, handing him a controller and grabbing one for himself as well.

He was finding it harder and harder to focus on anything other than the man next to him. He hated what Lando was doing to him. Why couldn't he just love someone... available? Honestly, loving Lando felt like a chore; but it didn't use to feel that way. And Daniel would do anything to bring the old Lando back. To bring his best friend back.

Lando let out his eagle-like laugh. "You've lost again!"

Daniel scoffed, putting down the controller. "Whatever, man." he got up, walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water as he still had a headache.

Turning around with a glass in hand, he noticed Lando sheepishly standing in the doorway. He swallowed, the liquid turning somewhat bittersweet in his mouth.

"Are you okay, Dan?"

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. Why you ask?"

Lando walked closer to him. "You look like shit." he chuckled, obviously trying to lighten up the mood, but Daniel didn't feel like laughing. Noticing Daniel's stone face, Lando cleared his throat. "You know what you need? You need to unwind a bit! There's this really, really nice club just down the street that we've never been to – can you believe it? Right down the street and we never noticed it! – we should go have a drink tonight! You look like you need that right now."

Daniel felt like that was the last thing he needed at the moment. Looking at Lando's expectant expression, he sighed.

"Alright."

"Yes!" the younger man cheered. "This is gonna be so great!"

And so, that night, Daniel watched Lando leave the club with yet another stranger.