Pool slides & Mosquito Bites

GRWM

I started deep into his brown eyes I could almost see my reflection from how glossy they were. I inched my face closer to him. Softly like you would if you were examining something dangerous or posionous. I sighed as he touched my face affetionely. His eyes reflecting the same love that mine were.

"CUT"

I relax my face as I let go of my co star, finally scene 4 out of 6 was finished. I liked being an actress I really did! It had its perks. Not everything was as glamrous as they made it seem, but it was good. I dont get how the directors expected me NOT to fall inlove with my costars if they were gonna put is in these situations and film these scenes.

I grab my water bottle as I see my social media manger making her way towards with a smile on her face. Angelica, but everyone called her Nelica it was our inside joke. She was the same age as me and probably the closest person to me since i'd began acting and filming this movie. She was a short fake blond with a fiery personality and rich parents. She would have looked like every other stereotypical LA girl if she hadn't gotten a reblious pixie cut. It really suited her. she looked like a curvier Kate Moss.

"oh I cant wait to see this movie, you are SOO great!" She gushed holding her ipad

I smiled and shrugged as I picked up my bag and started walking besides her

"please! you act as if what your doing sucks! If you keep up that attitude your gonna be seen as snobby,"

"fine, fine i'll try not to act like a bitch, whats on the schedule?" I laugh as we scamper across the busy road like scared mice.

"you know I'm so glad our hotels are right across where we film, im exhausted!" Nelica yawns as the automatic doors slide open, she presses the buttons to our floor as we enter the elevator " but anywaaays, you need to film a GRWM to post on youtube and you need some pictures of todays party."

"when it comes to media I'd rather pull a Gone Girl," I groan as the elvator door opens at our floor

"come on Y/n! we need edits of you circling around the internet,"

"FINE! I'll do the GRWM!" I tell her mostly to stop her whining, the noises she made we're so annoying " and what's the party theme, like formal, non formal, semi formal? I dont even have an outfi-"

She cuts me off with her finger to my lips, too confused to do anything I stare at her as she swipes the card and unlocks the door. She leads me to the bed where a gorgeous navy blue simple but elegant dress with a sparkling sun design and its accessories are draped on the bed. Now THIS is what I liked about being an actress.

"so I take its a semi formal then...where we lounge around a pool drinking champange instead of getting in?" I roll my eyes

"send me the GRWM, Ill pick you up at 9:30 ish, so in about 3 hours." Nelica ignores my snide comment as she shuts the door behind her.

I roll my eyes as go to the bathroom, take out my phone and press play and record my GRWM. My fans knew me as a smiley cheery fiery sassy girl. And maybe I was, maybe I had been. I sigh as I send her the video via email for her to check up on. I gesture to my makeup and hair team that's it's time to get me ready for the party. I stare at myself numbly in the mirror.

How could someone so blessed wanna slit their wrists? Not that I wanted to die.. no not at all, I want to live my life. I was 19 I was ecstatic to live. I was desperately sad I hadn't found love yet but maybe it was one of of those rough moments of the months. See what I did there? Tricking my brain into thinking there's nothing wrong? That's what I do, I gaslight myself into thinking I'm fine again. It worked so I didn't mind.

I stayed still as Hedi my makeup lady gave me my final touches. My signature black catlike eyeliner for my shapeshifing eyes. I say shapeshifting because they could be bambi eyes and then feline eyes, it was good for the film industry and they made me money so I liked them.

I smiled and waved as my crew shut the door behind me. I gripped the sink counter and looked up, almost frightened st what would be staring back at me. But I wasn't, I looked at myself in the mirror as a smile... a real smile enveloped my face. Everytime I got pretty the depression and deep melancholy would leave my soul. I felt like a diffrent person, and for that I was happy.