Flight Through Darkness

Judgement

"G-go away..." I shakily duck back down, bury myself in the thick, warm blanket that smells faintly of anesthetic. I sneeze at the smell, hear Sephiroth's deep chuckle from somewhere near me. How can anyone be laughing at a time like this? My best friend since childhood, since practically infancy even, is gone. I won't hear her gentle voice soothing me, no more of her sensible words of advice, her smile forever lost to me. And I just don't want to see a world without Aerith in it.

The blankets are peeled away from my form unceremoniously and I shiver in the cold. The bright white lights sting my eyes along with the now-stronger smell of disinfectant. At first I fumble for the word in my brain, but then it comes to me. Hospital. I'm in hospital. How? More importantly, why?

Sephiroth is giving me that piercingly intense look that strips my mind bare, laying my fears to the surface. "H-how? Why are you here?" At least, that's what I want to say. But my mouth only issues a hoarse croak. Someone offers me a cup of water, which I blindly accept. Raising the glass to my lips, I sip, never once taking my eyes off the teen sitting beside me. The cool water slides down my parched throat easily, soothingly. I try to speak again, with slightly more success. "How, why are you here? I thought you were overseas? Are you back from your studies already?" I blurt, unable to stop the surge of wild hope rising in my heart that's sweeping away some of the the pain.

The moment he shakes his head, the hope is extinguished.

"I rushed back because Angeal called me and told me about...what happened. I rushed back here, claiming it was an emergency. Today's Monday, since you were unconscious throughout the night. I have to return back to Singapore by Wednesday. I wish I could stay longer, trust me. But I doubt I'll be able to visit much in later weeks." The last sentence is an unspoken one, but it's definitely implied. A tiny smile curls at the corner of my lips and I attempt to hug him awkwardly, with the I.V drip attached to my arm. Tifa tuts, the sound drawing me back to my surroundings. "Alright, Sephiroth. Kiss your girl before I get diabetes watching you two," she teases half-heartedly, voice breaking halfway.

And he does just that, leaning in slowly and capturing my lips in a soft kiss, a blush creeping up both our cheeks. My eyes close of their own accord, his arm going round my back to support me. Tenderly, he flicks the tip of his tongue against my mouth and the moment I involuntarily open it to make a sound, he dives in. Our tongues wrestle for dominance, enjoying the familiar taste of each other once more, but I let him in easily. Humming appreciatively, Sephiroth swipes his tongue against mine and I sigh gently. This, this is what I missed.

We probably could have kissed our way to heaven except for Zack's tiny, broken sob that escapes his mouth. My eyes snap open and immediately go to Zack, who's hunched over the bedside table, shoulders shaking. Instantly guilt assails me. While I was happily making out with my dear boyfriend, I forgot that he had just lost his girlfriend forever. Tactless, as usual, the voice in my head scolds. Not just him. Everyone in this room has lost someone valuable today. A friend, a girlfriend, a confidant, a counsellor. Aerith was all of these. And the worst part is knowing that I could've stopped them from going out. If we hadn't snuck out of camp, this wouldn't have happened, right? I pass through the denial, but get stuck in the stage of blaming myself for how things turned out.

Tentatively, I reach out a hand to Zack, who's still shaking, head in his arms on the table beside me. It settles on his head, and not knowing what else to do, I simply lie there in the hospital bed, stroking his hair rhythmically, trying to distract myself from my own guilt and agony. Angeal moves to stand behind Zack and reassuringly rubs his shoulders as he cries silently, except for the occasional sniffle that works its way out of his throat. The guilt is upon me again, but I can't seem to cry just yet. Not when Sephiroth is here.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I...I could've stopped them, I should have. Now it's my fault. I flung her into that bear, now she's dead because of that...I'm sorry," I repeat numbly, not knowing what else to say but apologize. Tifa looks down at me with that grief-stricken face of hers, blind rage suffused in her eyes. "Y-you? You did that? You killed my best friend?" In three quick strides, she's in front of me, hand raised as if to pass a final judgment.

No, no,not Tifa too! I can't lose her now, not when she's the only one who'd understand how I feel! Please don't turn on me now! I need you!

I close my eyes and wait, bracing myself and willing myself not to cry just yet.

The hand comes down.