Flight Through Darkness

Fire

Burning, acidic pain. Agony that sizzles and bubbles under my skin, spreading in tingling waves through my whole body. I'm thrashing, but the bonds and cuffs prevent me from doing much. The gag effectively silences what should have been shrieks and turns them into muffled whimpers. Molten lava is searing through my veins, burning me from the inside out, liquid fire racing through me like quicksilver. As much as I want to give into the sweet euphoria of unconsciousness, I can't. It hurts too much. I'm teetering on the edge but unable to go over.

The fire reaches my heart, shriveling it up like it did to my lungs a few seconds ago. I can't breathe. Can't move. Every heartbeat sends the poison coursing through my body, faster and faster. It reaches my brain. Fireworks are going off, sending white bursts of light shooting through my eyelids. Ringing in my ears, voices whispering in my head. My hands are scrabbling, trying to cover my ears, not realizing it's all internal. Somehow it's agonizingly slow and excruciatingly swift at the same time, curdling my blood and drawing out my pain. The controls over my physical self are going, going, gone. My limbs are flexing on their own, muscles cramping and relaxing of their own volition, eyes rolling back into my pounding skull. My mental awareness is fading, replaced with a primal urge to escape. My hearing is fuzzy, words drifting in and out.

"Keep....immobile..."

"Drug...effects....strong...shouldn't...few hours..."

"...plans?....project...subject...?"

"Subject S...this one...influence...rebelled...damaged..."

"Quick....building...blackout...minutes..."

"Outside...cameras down...here!"

Screaming. Bright lights. The squeak and rattle of wheels. Occasional jolting. I'm being moved, but to where? My head, hammering so badly I want to smash it to make it stop. Extra senses only make it throb more, so I close my eyes tightly.

When my eyes snap open for one single, blinding moment, I see crimson-streaked nails and the bloody remnants of my wrists and palms. Another jolt sends fingers of pain jabbing at my brain and I attempt to cry out, but am met with the solid resistance of the ball gag. Bile rises in the back of my throat, but my muscles have locked up and I don't have the key. Unable to swallow it back down, I retch, feeling the warm, sour fluid soaking into the gag and trickling out the corners of my mouth. The coppery tang of blood mixes with the sour vomit, and I don't realize until now that my spasms earlier were so violent that I bit my tongue.

My brain is shutting down. I can't think straight through the smoke clouding my awareness, so I run to the only place where no one can hurt me, to the deepest, furthest outreaches of my mind. The surroundings warp and twist as I move, the ground lurching from beneath my feet. I keep running, but I'm not moving fast enough. I can hear the crackling hiss of the flames, feel the intense heat on my back.

Far off in the distance, a patch of pure, untouched white beckons. My tiny safe haven... I'm almost there. I can't catch my breath, my lungs have ceased to function properly, only drawing in explosive, short gasps when my body spasms. The light is fading, or is it my vision darkening at the corners? I can't let the flames catch me, I run as fast as I can, but it still feels like I'm moving underwater instead. Tears are blurring my eyesight, I can hear them sizzling on the heated ground as they fall. My foot finally lands on the edge of the field, crushing a single flower. With a relieved sob I hurl myself into my safe zone, holding close the single red rose that grows in the field of white. This rose I must protect. My love, my feelings, my consciousness...if I let this rose burn, I will become an animal. All around the field I can see the fires burning, eating away at the thing that's supposed to be me. I lie down in the field of lilies and watch the fires burn.