the survivor

chapter III

20.September.3016

Dear diary,
Mary died. She died. I wasn't able to save her, to protect her. Nila said it wasn't my fault but I'm sure it was on my back I mean if I were stronger,faster and more skilled ,it wouldn't have happened. I'm pathetic. I don't deserve to live. I should have dyed. I should burn in hell. I didn't deserve to be a friend of her. I hate myself. I'm useless. If I died every one would definitely survive. I was a bad friend. She was always ready to hurt herself for others. I should have died instead of her. I'm a loser, a bitch...
Anyway me and Rocky went on a walk. It was beautiful. I think he likes me very much. I don't like the fact he likes me. I mean I don't deserve to be liked or worse loved. I wish Rocky would hate me. Why does he not hate me?
Why do my friends not hate me?
I wish everyone hates me.
I hate being loved.
I hate being liked.
I hate it.
I just wanna fucking die.
My live is miserable.
I hate my fucking life.
Can't a zombie just kill me?
I hope so.
I mean I'm stupid.
I think were going to eat potatoes with bread today. We don't have enough to eat for one person. Without me we would have enough.
Why do I have to eat something?
Why do I even exist?
Why am I still alive?
Don't get me wrong but I ran away for as long as I could think.
I have to go now and do some chores.
Bye Akari