Nick... | A HEARTSTOPPER SIDE AU

Confession

(Written on Friday 2nd August 2024)

May include:BL, ED, SH, Dyslexia, Sensitive Topics, SA

Nick Nelson

January 6th
3am

I keep thinking about that moment with Charlie. God, I'm so pathetic and useless. I'm older than him and he can understand words better than me? Wow, I am really a failure. I will probably apologize to him in the morning again. He probably thinks that I'm really dumb and uneducated. Today is a weekend anyway, so he will be coming around to my house in a few hours. And then we can pretend that yesterday never happened! Yay!

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January 6th
9am

I'm cooking some food when my mum comes in and smiles. "Make me a cup of tea, will you Love?" She says, and kisses my cheek as I flip a pancake.

"Do you want some of these pancakes, Mum?" I ask. She shakes her head and starts getting some plates out of the cupboard.

"No thank you, Nicky. Make sure you give some to Charlie. I've been worried about him." Mum says, and grabs a salad out of the fridge. "He is coming, isn't he?"

"Yeah" I say. "And I'm going to save some for him. He says that he's been wanting pancakes lately, so I thought it would be nice if me and him sat outside with some food and just... Relax... He's been through a lot and I want to make sure he gets time to relax. Cause it must be stressful going back to school while recovering from an Eating Disorder and trauma." I say, and I look at Mum. She smiles and pats my cheek. Her eyes are filled with pride.

"You're such a lovely boy, Nicholas. I don't know how I have such an amazing and kind son like you." She says, and wipes a tear from her eyes. I chuckle and hug her gently.

"I'm trying my best for him." I say. "Please don't get emotional over me."

She chuckles and pats my back. "Don't forget about looking after yourself though, Love." Mum says, and sits down on the dining table. I smile and think about that for a bit. My smile slowly fades thinking about that. Suddenly a knock is at the door. My eyes widen and I quickly dish out the pancakes before rushing to the door.

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*Have a break, it may start to get emotional from now on in this chapter*
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January 6th
10am

Me and Charlie are outside, with our pancakes. It's scorching outside. Charlie put chocolate on his pancakes. I just put some fruit in mine. He looked so beautiful in the light. His curls shining in the sun, his eyes golden from the sun's reflection, his smile so wide. I don't deserve him. I smile and chuckle as I look at the corner of his lips. Charlie looks at me and smiles. "What's so funny? Nicholas Nelson?" He says.

I smile and kiss his lips gently, getting the chocolate off the corner of his lips. Char smiles after the kiss and giggles. "You had some chocolate" I say.

"Did I?"

"Yeah" I say and take a bite of my pancake. Charlie's smile fades as he stares at me. "So, have you finished the history homework?"

Last night, when we were supposed to do the homework, me and Charlie struggled with the homework. So we decided to leave it and try another day by ourselves. "Umm... No, not really." I say. I couldn't finish it because i couldn't understand the fucking words. They just kept moving. Why couldn't they stay still? Something is surely wrong with me.

"Were the words moving too much?" Charlie asks me. My eyes widen and my brows furrow. How did he know...? My eyes dart around the place and I can't think of something to say.

"Y-yeah.." I manage to spit out. Charlie stares at me and holds my hand gently.

"Nick..." He says, "Do you... Do you have Dyslexia?" He asks me. My eyes widen even more and my brain goes blank. My hand starts shaking. Charlie looks at my hand and rubs it gently with his thumb.

"I..." Tears well in my eyes and soon I can't control myself. And before I know it, I'm pressed against Charlie's chest, sobbing, tears falling and my breathing unsteady. "I-i don't k-know..." I spit out, with a struggle. Charlie strokes my head and kisses my forehead. I'm sitting there. Sobbing into his shoulder, aren't I supposed to be there for him? Not the opposite way around.

"I think you have it." Char says.

I sigh. "I-i just... I-i want to be normal... I-i wanna be able to read clearly, I-i wanna get better at spelling... I-i don't wanna be... D-dumb..."

Charlie's eyes widen and he wipes some tears off my cheeks. "Nick! You are not dumb! I would never think you of dumb! It's okay not to understand words like this, you can't help it... Nick, if you want help, I think you should tell your Mum."

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I hope you enjoyed!! Chapter 3 will be coming soon! If u want, pls tell me some ideas in the comment!
866 words!