In the name of saint

A letter

Dear Reader,
I hope you have a good time on your travels. Know that I miss you. I think of you every day and even we miss your suffragette thoughts. I hope you always keep a cool head. Not much has changed in our town, but the same cannot be said about my mother's health. We're about to leave back to Grayford. I don't know how I should feel about that, but at least I'll see Juliette. May angels accompany you, write soon.
Your friend Lucienne.

That was the first letter I sent. Now, let's write another one.

My dear Juliette,
since you live in Grayford, news of my mother health must have reached you. It would be pointless to lie to you that things are fine and that's why I'm going straight to the point. I'm thinking that Viktor and I will go back to the village to keep an eye on our mother. Also, I haven't seen you for a long time and despite our regular correspondence, I can't wait to see you and return to the village of my childhood. Hope to see you in a week.
Lucienne

Great, I thought as I put the letters in the envelopes and sealed them with wax. Then I added a ring and made a seal. I called Margaret and handed her the letters saying: "Put it in the post office this morning, I won't need you here and the cook certainly needs shopping." Normally, merchants bring us goods to our estate, but for smaller items, it's faster to pop into town than wait. Margareta nodded, said: "Yes, madame" and ran away to fulfill her duties.

Beautiful morning, the sun came through my linen curtains with lace flowers and outside the window I could hear the bustle of the street.

It wasn't that loud in this neighborhood, sometimes voices could be heard from neighboring houses and palaces or from a cab in front of the houses. The dog barked a few times and I stretched.

We didn't have any guests today, so I could tighten the corset a little less. I can already hear the Reader repeating in my head that corsets are a useless thing made for male satisfaction of the female figure and because of the body standards of the time. She was right, but unfortunately I had a weakness for corsets.

Today I wore a plain white dress with a floral corset. Dress had frills and balloon sleeves, but lugging around petticoats and crinolines sometimes absolutely disgusted me. So many unnecesary fabric, but whatever. Women in my social class were required to wear similar 'fashion gadgets'.

My name is Lucienne, I am twenty nine years old and I live with my beloved husband in the city near the village where I was born.

I have a living mother, although as you may already know, she hasn't been doing well lately. My father died a few years ago, and left the property, as well as grief, to my mother. She lives in Grayford, on a smaller estate and has a few adjoining fields. As a child, I spent many wonderful moments there...

Oh well, in a few hours Viktor and I'll have to go back to the places that were the main scene of my childhood memories, so we are finalizing the preparations.

I decided that Margareta would go with me, because she might (and I hope she will) be useful to me. Few days ago she went to the apothecary to get some herbs that could help her. The mother is bedridden, and after the death of her husband, she began to wither.

These thoughts run through my head when I check the preparations.

I don't really want to go because... Well, it doesn't matter. In addition, my relationship with my mother was not the best before my marriage to Viktor. Viktor is very supportive of science and is not as big a Christian as others. Like everyone else, I'm also a Christian, but definitely not passionate about the faith. As a child, I wished to have my own rosary, but as I grew up, I never bought my own.

I go through the rooms and check that all the necessary things have been packed. I walk into the kitchen and nodd my head in agreement as I see the cook preparing the last lunch at my husband's house.

I hope that we will leave the countryside soon, my husband is going to have various responsibilities here in the city, and I dare say that I will be able to embroider in the village as well as in the city. That's how it is, just shaping wax flowers and other noble entertainment.

I enjoy banquets though, but I remember time when these events were very precious to me. That's probably also why I've never resented them, and my moral principles tell me not to get used to such luxury. Just try to visit London's East End and immediately one is a thousand times more happy for everything.

I go back to my room, once more I go through the clothes I want to take with me. My eyes stop at some dress that I don't know what to do with.

I personally like them, they are a little more luxurious, but it's not that bad. Pure white, just like my immaculate soul. Pearl details and red ruffles and lace. Pure beauty. However, Viktor says that they would be of no use to me.

I stop for a moment and think about whether I should take them or not. Like from Hamlet: "To live or not to live, that's what it's all about. In the end I foolishly decide to pack them with other things, you never know when they will come in handy.

The door opens behind me and Viktor's arm wraps around my waist. "Lunch" he says from behind me. I turn and stroke his hand. We both head to the dining room.

Before sitting to a great wooden table I ask him some questions about his work. You can feel the nervousness in the air, the travel is getting closer.