Strawberries and Whipped Cream

Chapter 2 - Branches

I had forgotten all about you, but you apparently hadn't forgotten about me. Because you decided to visit me the next day. Baba had made coffee for us and I thought that that would be all you had wanted to achieve in the first place, but the next day you came back. But this time, you didn't stay with me and my grandmother, but you invited me out, to spend the day with you and only with you. 

Baba loved the idea, probably hoping that I had found a friend and she gave you the keys to her small old car, that was still in the garage, so you could take me to one of the quieter beaches down the coast over at Cannes. I didn't know how to drive but you made me want to learn and yet I adored being driven around by you. You didn't drive like the others around here did, you drove carefully and I liked that. 

You probably didn't have your divers license for very long, but you drove well and I almost fell asleep on our way back, that was how safe I felt. And when you had to park or do a difficult U-turn, you put your hand on your mouth, as if you were shocked by the news on TV, but it was just your way of helping you concentrate. It was adorable and it made me smile, even then, even when my feelings for you weren't yet developing, but my liking for you as a person was growing, like a blossoming flower. How you had the windows open, the wind blowing through our hair. And for once I didn't mind that I was getting messed up, that I didn't look like I did when we got into that little red car, because thanks to the music and the somehow relaxed atmosphere, I felt good, like I hadn't in a while. We didn't need to talk, we didn't need to force an upbeat mood, we were simply us and that was different and alright.

I didn't understand why you wanted to spend time with me after all, the other night, it became unbearably clear that there were people around, your friends, that you could have spent this precious time with, rather than with me. To this day I envy every person that gets to hear your laughter, those happy sounds, out of your mouth. Even then, when we parked and walked down the pebble path to the beach, I started to hate the thought of you experiencing this kind of peace with somebody other than me. 

Was that just who you were? Did you have that many friends and admirers because of what you could give them? This feeling that I had from the first time we drove to the beach together? How I felt understood and cared for, even if you weren't looking at me or trying hard to get on my good side? It was as if I had the same effect on you, though I now start to doubt that. What did you do with me? What did you do to me?

"Nobody ever comes here expect for old couples and families that live by the bay and know their way around here. And on a Monday morning, I think we will have a lot of quiet time. Do you like to tan or are you more of a swimmer?", you, Camille, had asked me and I honestly didn't know.

I wanted you to like me, so my first impulse was just to shrug and let you decide what I would like to do more, but I decided to answer honestly, daring a move to see if you would like me, the real me, who ever that might be.

"I like to float in the water, I am not much of a Swim-to-the-other-coast kind of person and I like to read, in the shadows" I said.

I know my wish wasn't outrageous and quite normal, but simply voicing something I liked took a lot of courage since upsetting other people with it was the last thing I wanted.

It lingered in the air for only a second before I quickly added "But whatever you would like to do is fine."

And with that I took back all the courage and truth I had decided to put out there, but you didn't mind, you didn't comment on it or ignored it, you just smiled and said "Floating and reading it is. Sounds good!"

You sounded genuinely happy by the idea and I was a bit flustered, I cannot lie. Most of the times, if I would suggest something, I would have to fight with my words to get what I wanted. Not because I looked like a sweet little girl and people wouldn't trust me, no, it just seemed to be something people agreed on, that my way was not the right one. But you didn't agree with them, you walked down the beach, the small bay to where there was a bit of sand and not just stones and pebbles, putting down your towel, helping me with mine and we rammed the small umbrella into the ground for us to hide under.