GAMBIT - Vinsmoke Ichiji x Reader

8 - Wash

Come on, not a single loophole? Think, you idiot! Think!

There had to be something. Something that could ensure that both myself and my country could be forever free of Germa and that disgusting family known as Vinsmoke. I just had to use my brain.

It had been four days since the festival, and I had somehow; by much luck and effort, managed to avoid them all for the most part. Their stench still permeated the castle, with no amount of incense or perfume strong enough to save my poor senses.

I briefly considered the possibility of sneaking out to sea, only to return with a far more suitable husband from some far off land. Surely my parents couldn't annul the marriage if it was another royal, right? What could Germa possibly offer us that other nations couldn't, anyway?

"Ugh, why does Papa have to have his head so far up Judge's ass?" Kicking my bare feet in the shallows of the stream I sat by, I turned to address my rhetorical to a member of my entourage. A nearby thrush, who chirruped in response. "If he really cared about me, or Fell, then he'd never even consider going through with this..."

No, he just hasn't seen them for what they truly are...

"Wait." I perked up as my brain repeated that previous thought, earing a cock of the head from a large, chubby salamander floating by my feet. "Guys, what if I can get them to mess up?! Piss them off until one of them snaps in front of Papa, or someone he'd believe?! Then bam! Bitchiji goes byechiji!"

Yes! Eureka!

It was a risky plan, for sure, but as far as I knew it was my only option for the time being. I was more than willing to risk a few scars or broken bones, even a brief coma, if it meant I would be able to be free, and spare my people from whatever Germa had in store for them.

Reaching down, I plucked up the hefty, peachy orange salamander, lifting him as though he were an infant before me.
"Think I can pull it off, buddy?" I asked the slimy creature, smiling brighter when it lolled its tongue out to give a lazy, affectionate lick to the air between us. "Yeah, you're right. I totally can."

"Not the worst plan I've ever heard, but it's unlikely to work."

I gained an impressive amount of air when I jumped, the surrounding animals, save for the chunky amphibian in my arms, scattering in a panic. Reiju stood a few feet away, unphased by my reaction to her sudden presence.
"Wh..Why not..?" I asked with a slight stammer, mostly because I was yet to fully recover from the startle. "Aren't they all stupidly temperamental?"

Nodding, Reiju moved closer, though she kept somewhat of a distance, eyes on the slow running water rather than my form.
"Yes, but you seem to be forgetting that they are also disciplined. If our father has said not to do a certain thing in front of others, then they won't. I have never seen them disobey an order."

What are they? Machines?

Deflating, j looked down into the shimmering water, following a darting minnow with my toe.
"Then what am I supposed to do? I know they're your family, and I mean no offence to you, but I don't want to marry into it..."

Heaving a sigh, much heavier than I had ever heard from her before, Reiju glanced up to the tree branches, where some of the thrushes had started to reconvene.
"Niji has the shortest temper of the three, by far. If there were any possibility of your little plan succeeding, he would be the most likely to snap. Ichiji has far too much pride, and Yonji far too much interest in your feminine assets to really lose it in the manner you're intending."

She's giving me advice? I knew I liked her for a reason. She's the only good one. Aside from poor Sanji...

"However," Her voice became somewhat stricter; sharper, as though she was ensuring that she had my full, undivided attention. "you need to keep in mind that Niji is not at all above hurting women, royalty or not. No offence, but I seriously doubt you could take one of his strikes."