I’m still struggling to understand what happened last January. The excruciating pain is unimaginable, but I’ve forgiven you and acknowledged my part. Despite everything, we chose to give our relationship another chance. However, our primary focus was on self-improvement, becoming better individuals, being worthy of each other, and forgiving ourselves.
Your sister reached out to me and offered to help me surprise you when I came to visit. Many thoughts raced through my mind. Are we ready to face each other despite the pain? Could it outweigh the pain? I wanted you to see me as the person you once loved, and I want to see you as the person I love—without hesitation in trusting again. No fear. Nevertheless, I chose to trust you again and booked a flight. Although there was still some lingering uneasiness and reluctance to rebuild trust, those feelings gradually diminished.
But it felt like I was slowly losing you once again. You sensed how I reacted to what you made me feel. So, we talked about it. We chose each other once more. After our decision, I noticed your eagerness to improve. You began engaging in physical activities again. You adjusted your sleeping pattern and slept early. You began to regain self-love during that time. I was inspired by what you were doing. It reenergized me to embrace life again. I started seeing my doctor and looking for a job because I wanted to settle here for good. I even rebooked my flight to an earlier date. I noticed you were distant for a few days, but I did not mind it, thinking you were just tired and experiencing “PMS.”
I thought we were on the same page all this time. I never once thought that you would do that, especially considering how deeply it has affected you in the past—your trauma. I made a point to ask you several times about us, and each time, you reassured me that you still wanted us to be together. However, when I saw your Instagram story with another guy and confronted you about it, you chose to deny it instead of telling the truth. Just so you know, the more you deny it, the deeper it cuts, the deeper it stung, and the more it made me question my self-worth.
