From The Flames Is Rebirth (The Forever Pirates) #4

006

Yeosang 

Hongjoong said his goodbyes as our crew was being split. It wasn't until Hongjoong explained his need to search for Seonghwa that San finally woke up and broke down all at once.

He was so caught up in his own pain and confusion that he hadn't noticed much that Seonghwa was gone, and for him to realize that while he was mourning and being angry over Wooyoung, Hongjoong was putting his fear on he backburner for him.

Or that's at least what I gathered from the interaction. It's been difficult to ignore what I was struggling with to help San with his own struggles. I think he was scared of being selfish, but I didn't see it as selfishness. I didn't think he had to push away what he was struggling with just because we were all struggling with something. It's not like he asked to be the center of attention. And he hadn't been.

Hongjoong comforted him, and I think that it was a relief for San. I didn't know Hongjoong very long before that night, so after it happened, I never really knew how to feel. I knew it had affected Jongho way more than me, and he had been so confused and I could never help him truly understand because I didn't understand any of it. 

I knew he was probably still struggling with whatever was going on with his brain, but now that the disease was no longer progressing, he stayed who he was now. It made me curious as to who he was in the very beginning, before his brain had rotted and life had taken it's toll on him. 

After a couple of minutes of him comforting San and me zoning out, he turned to me, I guess I was surprised. I really didn't know him well and goodbye from him wasn't something I had prepared for. 

"Take care of him." He said, referring to San before he sighed and continued with, "Take care of bot' of t'em. But most importantly, take care of yerself. I'll be back, hopefully sooner t'an later." 

I nodded firmly and after looking at the both of us for a minute, he left. Jongho was busy saying goodbye to Yunho and Mingi, and I imagined Hongjoong and Jongho would get their goodbyes once they crossed paths on the ship. 

"My best friend has been missing for so long and I've barely noticed." He muttered to himself. 

"You've been out of it." I replied. "I mean...your boyfriend is a dragon." 

His eyebrows pushed together in thought, "I have been out of it, really out of it. But, I did hear what those sirens said about ye and Jongho." His eyes flickered to me. "What were they talking about?" 

I clenched my jaw as I stared at him. "San..." 

"Hongjoong ignored it, but ye wouldn't have acted out like that without reason. What haven't ye told me?" 

I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer to the cave to the point where we stood close to the entrance. "I don't know how to talk about this. It's not something you could understand." 

He slowly pulled his arm from my grip, confusion seeping into his expression. "Yeosang...talk to me." 

"You wouldn't forgive me-"

"Don't tell me what I can or can't do, just tell me." He replied more roughly. 

It was hard, because not even Seonghwa knew this and telling San first? I mean, Jongho and San were the most moral men I knew. And I wasn't sure Jongho could ever understand unless it was practically forced on him. And it had been. For those six years, it had been. For San? This was completely wrong.