Natigilan ako at mariing napa-pikit, sa aking paglingon sa likuran ay siyang pagtutok ko ng baril na hawak Kay Kuya Aaron. Walang tigil ang aking luha sa pagpatak, lalo na noong maalala kong siya mismo iyong nagsabi ng harap-harapan na ipalaglag ko ang anak ko. Ang sama-sama nila sa akin, bakit gan'on?
"...Lily...I won't do anything, put it down first, please..." Nakataas na Ang kanyang dalawang kamay. Ang pagaalalang nakikita ko sa kanyang ekspresyon ay hindi ko na magawang paniwalaan.
"Kuya naman, hayaan mo na akong umalis please, nagmamaka-awa ako sa'yo, ayow ko na dito." Iyak lang ako ng iyak, nangangatog ang mga kamay.
"I won't stop you, okay? So please! Put it down, now! Tutulungan kitang maka-alis dito, you can trust me, please, thrust me... Alam kong nagkamali ako, I won't be able to forgive myself for the rest of my life. Just, please..." Unti-unting humihina ang tono ng kanyang boses habang suot parin ang ekspresyong pinaka-ayaw ko ng muli pang Makita.
Umiiling-iling ako habang umaatras, nang mabasa ang aking paa ay saka ko lamang napagtantong nasa ilog na ako.
"LILY!!"
Gulat akong napalingon kay Kuya Raiko nang malakas nito akong tinawag. Galit na galit ang ekspresyon ng kanyang mukha kaya mas lalo tuloy akong napa-atras. Buong katawan ko na ang nangatog sa takot. Sunod na dumating ay si Kuya Jerome na nanggaling sa ibang direksiyon.
"Hey! Put it down! That's not a fucking toy----"
"AHHHHH" Malakas akong sumigaw dahil sa naghalo-halong emosyong aking nararamdaman. Umiiyak akong tumitingin sa kanila. "I'm fine? I'm alright? It doesn't matter?..... FUCK!!! I'M NEVER BEEN FINE!! NOTHING IS ALRIGHT!! AND EVERYTHING DOES MATTERS!! BAKIT NYO BA GINAGAWA SA AKIN ITO!! ANO BA! TAMA NA! Tama na.... Please... Tama na....Tama na..."
"...Lily..." Kuya Aaron tried to approached once again kaya bumalik sa kanya ang aking itinutok na baril.
"Huwag na huwag kang lalapit... " nangangatog ang aking kamay because I know it myself that no matter how much badly they treated me, I still can't bring myself to pull the trigger. Kaya naibaba ko ang aking kamay.
"That's right....good girl..." Kuya Raiko forced a smile. Aakma na nila akong lalapitan ngunit natigilan nang muli kong iangat ang aking kamay, at sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi sa kanila nakatutok ang baril kun'di sa sarili kong ulo.
"FUCK! LILY!! NABABALIW KA NA BA!!" Galit na galit si Kuya Raiko.
"IBABA MO 'YAN!" sigaw Naman ni Kuya Jerome.
"...Lily... don't do that, please... Nagmamaka-awa ako sa'yo..." Tuluyang pumatak ang namuong luha sa mga mata ni Kuya Aaron habang napa-luhod na sa lupa, nakikiusap ang mga matang nakangitin sa akin, dahilan upang sumilay ang matamis na ngiti sa aking labi.
"....It's fine, kuya. Everything will be alright. It doesn't matter anymore...." Banayad kong sabi habang matamis parin na nakangiti at pumapatak ang luha sa mga mata.
"... please....don't..."
Ang pag-hagolhol ni Kuya Aaron ang nagpabawas sa bigat ng aking nararamdaman. I guess I won't be able to see my precious daughter grow up. Thinking that manang Emilia will always be there for her ay mas lalong napapanatag ang aking loob. Payapa kong ipinikit ang mga mata, pumatak ang kahuli-hulihang luha sa aking mga mata bago maririnig ang putok ng baril na umalingawngaw sa paligid.
At that moment, I felt like the system of my body suddenly shut down, it felt so light, floating in a place that has nothing but endless silence in the middle of the darkness.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I thought I could finally escape from the clutches of my three brothers....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................But I woke up, on the day of my 18th birthday.
