□So you're a swimmer?□

melting ice-cream

Lotus' pov

I felt depressed since the past week. Everything was going upside down a slope, whose hill I never climbed ironically. I talked to my friend, not much close but we do share daily dose of genuine smiles. She told me it would be better if I took some time off and went out, did something I haven't done yet. There was a lot on my mind already. I will talk about it.

Today, Stephen asked me for my mathematics part 2 book and I gave it, which had a gaming card bookmark. I wonder if someday I had intentionally put it there to have it noticed by him. And since it come to happen today, I was excited to talk more about it, the time unfortunately being at the ring of the school bell. So I was much more ready to discuss it out, in a more fascinating way.

So when the raindrops touched my face stepping out, I wanted the day to have a deeper meaning to it. I drove to the ice-cream shop in the lane where his house was, and waited for him. I don't know what was I thinking but in my already grieving state of mind, I wanted something to take my mind off of it. 

My actions seem to always be in a haste. When I was halfway through the core, I realized I should slow down in case he comes late. I noticed all the people I didn't want to. Also a monkey faced guy I had met in my early tuition classes. I wonder if we both left that cursed place at the same time. He had a bruised nose and head the last time I saw him, and the fact he looked fine made me realize I was staring long and had forgotten his original face craft. He left after giving few glances and I made the recognition a lot later. 

I was at the core of my cone now. I bought it without noticing the flavor. This is the first time I have taken time out for a simple temptation. Silly. I waited even after finishing, making things up in my mind about what I would say if he showed up now and that I don't have something to cling to as I talk. But, after a minute it felt like a waste. I stepped out on the front porch of the shop and looked out. My head hitting the soft shower but he was nowhere in sight. 

Heaving a deep sigh and realizing how such a fool I am, I put the cone wraps in my pocket and took out the key. I can't believe I kept standing under the shed, rain pouring over it, in my red raincoat and helmet on, feeling like a complete douchebag, waiting for someone whom I have a crush on for almost a year now, and it eventually ending with my wraps in my pocket when it should have been somewhere suggested by him, my mind in a deep sorrow when the storm should have been calmed by him, and my face wet with raindrops when it should be wiped by now when I should have met him. 

I didn't get to tell you Stephen all the things I wanted to. I don't know also when that day will be. But I hope I meet you somewhere safe again, tell you the things I have been planning too since the long year to pass, and my heart now heavy with all the colors I want to spray my pages with about you. 

I am afraid it's not the time. But I hope to meet you again.