□So you're a swimmer?□

Walking irony

Lotus's pov

It's like as if you freeze time when you look at me. The way your eyes linger at me for just a moment before looking away like I'm either not the best sunset or the worst one someone can ever encounter. It's just that for me, sunsets are never ugly. And that's why I don't understand you. 

The raindrops splash at my window and I recall the events of today. Of the way you care about every single other person in the room except me. The way you talk to other girls, sit across them like you've been their friends since time long, and the way I can sometimes maybe hallucinate catching you glance at that one other girl in the room who is just as beautiful as a memorable sunset.

I don't know. To think so ill of you when I'm so attracted to your being. Skin so fair with no pock marks, while mine feels like a black painting of stretchmarks by all the people who have ever hurt me. And your perfectly done up hair which I saw you adjusting for the first time in my life in front of the most charming female teacher who teaches us biology. 

It feels like you're for everyone except me. You want to be with everyone except me. You've a special relation with everyone except me. Why me, Stephen?

I wanted to be a friend of yours just as much as you want to be of others. The way you talk so freely with others, even sit around some other girls, up front, at the back or even beside, why can't you do that with me? Maybe that's why i envy every single thing about you.

You're good at all the things i am certified excellent at. You stood at the porch listening to the songs played on the guitar, sung by a choir, and i wonder if i told you was a singer too, would you look at me the same way?

I don't know why I am so concerned about your opinions about me. I would rather die sprawled in an open space than confess to you about how much i like you. 

But then again at the end of the day, I'm nothing but a walking irony.