ABC Drabbles

A is for Avuncular

Warning: Very much CRACK!!! Extreme OOC.  Mention of Mpreg

" Avada Kedavra"- English

$ Avada Kedavra$- Parseltongue

-Avada Kedavra-  Thought Speech

Harry cooed over the tiny babies he held in his arms. They were just so cute! And he was an Uncle! He could barely stand it! They had the sweetest faces, and the cutest noses! And they tickled when they squirmed!

Suddenly, Harry felt a warm presence behind him before a pair of strong arms embraced him. He leaned back into his lover's chest with a content sigh. This was nice... it really made him want to have his own kids.

$How is babysitting?$

The Dark Lord currently draped over Harry's body looked at the babies with interest.

$Are they behaving well?$

The infamous Lord Voldemort, You-Know-Who, Conqueror of the Wizarding World, Yada-yada-yada... looked at the tiny beings with a rather fearful expression. He reached over Harry toward the little babies... and poked one.

Perhaps allowing the Dark Lord around children was not a good idea. Too bad.

$Why don't you see for yourself?$

Harry shifted around and deposited the kids into the elder man's arms. He knew it was rather mean, but he wanted see the tough Dark Lord squirm! Besides... this was a perfect warm up to when he told his lover why he had been spending so much time researching potions. He grinned, who knew Slytherin's Library was a treasure trove of male pregnancy information?

A very angry wailing woke Harry from his thoughts. He snapped his head to where his red eyed lover was holding the children... upside down?! Harry rushed over and tried snatched the kids away.

$Harry!$ Yelled a very distressed Dark Lord. $Make them stop!$

The two spent several minutes trying to calm the, still upside down, babies. Of course it was a rather fruitless endeavor. The two men looked at each other and made a quick pact.

$Their mother does not find out about this, correct?$

Harry snorted, $Of course not! We'd never hear the end of it!$

$Hear about what?$

The wizards jumped up and whirled around.

$Nagini!$

$Yes, me. Would either of you care to explain why my hatchlings are currently upside down?$

$Heh... about that... We were just- RUN!!!$

The wizards rushed out the door, still with upside down hatchlings in their hands, as a livid Nagini slithered closely behind them, screeching profanity.