this love

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tw. none, fluff, slight angst

song rec(s). this love - taylor swift

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It probably has been months since you and Vanessa broke up, exactly 7 months. The reason for your broke up was pretty messy, but mainly because of how cold and distant Vanessa became towards the end. Her night shifts were just getting longer and longer, you couldn't wait for her more, you needed someone to hold you at night and just be there for you.

After 2 to 3 months of the broke up you decide to date other girls but you it never lasted longer than some hookups. They weren't Vanessa. You missed her badly, every night, every day.

You were sitting nervously in a fancy restaurant that Vanessa picked out for your date... wait? How did you end up here?

One night you were down in a bar to just clear your mind after another one night thing and just to think about everything that has been happening to you through this year. Vanessa popped up in your head again. Everything you shared was wonderful during the beginning, everything just felt perfect. However, when Vanessa became more cold and distant a lot changed. You were feeling lonely though you loved her very much. You tried to talk to her many times about how you should fix this but most of the times she turned you down. All she said was that you were being too clingy and how tired she is. Everytime she promised you that she will try to change but they were just white lies. That's why you broke up with her. As you were getting deeper in your thoughts you suddenly felt a soft tap on your shoulder. When you turned to see who was it, you were left somewhat speechless. It was Vanessa. She looked... different? Her hair was in the usual low ponytail but her eyes looked extremely tired. You could tell she was exhausted. Her under eye bags told everything.

"Vanessa?.. What are you doing here?" You asked with curiosity. She sighed and looked down. She was nervous. "I was out with some friends... then I spotted you." She looked back at you. Despite her tiredness, her look was gentle. You nodded with understanding. "I see..." There were a minute of awkward silence between the two of you but the blonde decided to break the silence. "So... how's everything?" You looked back at her and chuckled lightly. "Not that good just to be honest. I'm pretty lonely.. How about you?" She smiled softly. She understood you, she was really lonely as well. "Same from here. The house has been really quite since you left..." She looked down with some sadness. You felt sad as well because you still loved her very much, but has she changed anything?

Some minutes later she was now next to you chatting about the dates she was on and how badly they turned out. You couldn't help but laugh but your dates weren't that sunshine as well. That was when Vanessa asked you, "Look... I know, we separated on bad terms... but I want you to know that I have changed and I tried to focus and work on myself to be better." You crossed your arms with amusement. "Is that so? I'm glad, it's good to hear, you should be really proud of yourself then!" You smiled. "Well, yea, I am. But there's one more thing..." She nervously quietly tapped on her glass. You raise an eyebrow and tilted your head. "What?" She sighed heavily. You could tell it was not easy for her to say it. "I... want to make things good between us... I want us to be something again." She looked at you with fear of rejection. You looked down and sighed. "Vanessa... I-I don't know. I mean I still love you very much... but I'm not sure." She nodded. "I understand... but please, one date and if it will go bad then... I will leave you alone but... please." You didn't exactly know how to answer this but you badly wanted to make things right... but what if it will end up just like it did before? That was the thing you were afraid of. The loneliness, the coldness of the warm home.

Eventually you said yes and that's how you ended up in that fancy restaurant. It actually has been weeks since Vanessa asked you out on the date but you needed proper time to think about the invitation. You needed to clear with yourself what you are going to get into again but you loved her very much and you needed at least this last date if it was the truly last time, you are ever going to see her.

You were extremely nervous though. Vanessa were as well even because of how late she was running due to the storm outside. You weren't mad at her for being late, you were only worried about her and the storm.

After 20 minutes she made it. In her hands there were white roses, which mostly symbolized loyalty. You always knew it was important for Vanessa what type of flower she is bringing. She was a big flower nerd. (Headcanon.)

You smiled at her and got up from your seat. After she placed down the roses she hugged you tightly and gave you a small kiss on the cheek. She knew you liked kisses on your cheeks and she always found that adorable.

You and Vanessa ordered your good and started to talk about everything. Laughed about the awkward dates you guys had with other girls. You even talked about how you felt during your relationship with her. She truly understood everything you said and it was clear to you that she actually has changed. She understood her mistakes, you could see it in her eyes and her eyes never lied.

The date went well, better than you expected it.

~

It has been years since you started dating with Vanessa. It was the best decision you has ever made. She started to talk more and more about her true feelings and you appreciated her honesty. She made more time for you and was always there for you, of course you did the same thing for her and of course you understood that her job may not let her have much free time but she explained everything to you, the reasons why and just how will she try and make up for it.

She changed a lot, in a good way and you were extremely happy with how well her healing were going since you knew about her traumatic childhood.

You knew that there were be ups and downs in your relationship but at least now you both knew how to help each other and how to get through those times.

,,This love is good,

This love is bad,

This love is alive back from the dead,

These hands had to let it go free, and

This love came back to me

This love left a permanent mark

This love is glowing in the dark

These hands had to let it go free, and

This love came back to me"

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