Black Dahlia

[Blank] Is A Bitch. [Jordan, 3] Ch.36

y,n pov

      I lay in the hotel bed next to Jordan as he snores softly. I sigh rolling over so I can look at him. I smile weakly as my heart pangs with regret and sadness. 'Stop.. these last few need to be cherished and happy.' I thought to myself as I gentle reached out to stroke his cheek softly. "Oh how I love you.." I whispered as I felt my nose begin to drip. I sighed softly before wiping the back of my hand under my nose to reveal it bleeding. Slightly annoyed and disappointed I slowly got up trying not to wake Jordan. As I crossed the room to the bathroom I caught a glimpse of my sickly reflection in the mirror. I flinched in disgust.

     Entering the bathroom I walking to the sink and grabbed a wash cloth letting it absorb some warm water before placing it under my nose to clean the blood trail. After cleaning the blood from my face I turned toward the shower and reached in to turn the water on. I quickly undressed and climbed in hoping the warmth would make me feel better even if only for a little while. As the water showered down on my skin I listened to each splash and thumb of the droplets as they collided with solid surfaces. I let my head hang as I placed my hand on the wall under the shower head. I let my mind wonder off.

-_-_-_-_-Flash back to a little while after Jordan proposed-_-_-_-_-_-

       I sat on the bed waiting for the doctors to come back. "Hey, I'm sure it'll be okay." Max said from beside me with a reassuring smile. I smiled weakly back not believing him in the least bit. "Yea." I said trying to sound confident. I sat quietly thinking about all of my issues. 'Light headed, Fainting, vomiting, loss of appetite, nausea, diarrhea, frequent head aches and nose bleeds.' I checked them off one by one in my head. A soft knock came at the door before the two doctors walked in. The smell of cleaning chemicals waved in behind them from the hallway causing me to gag slightly.

      "Mr.Regan would it be okay if we asked your friend to step out for a moment?" The doctor with Black hair and wire framed glasses asked softly. I looked over at Max and nodded. He got up slowly and walked to the door and mouthed 'Good luck' to me before opening the door and stepping out. The second Doctor with longish curly blonde hair worked on getting the X-ray light on. (Image Dr.Chase & House from house.)
I watched him set pictures of my head on the light "Mr.Regan there is no easy way to say this.. You have a brain tumor." The Doctor with black hair said as he made his way to the X-Rays. He began pointing at large dark spots. "Their to far along for surgery, removal would only do more damage than good, Mr.Regan I'm sorry." The blonde said as he glanced at his clipboard.

       "How long do I have?" I murmured emotionless. "With treatment about 2 months, 4 tops." The blonde said looking up with pity filled eyes. "And without?" I asked not wanting to prolong the pain and suffering. "About a week maybe 3 at the most." The black haired doctor murmured face blank of any emotion. "I see." I mumbled taking my eyes away from the men. "We can give you something for the pain and something for the nausea." One of them said as a pen clicked. "Alright, I'll need it if I'm not doing treatment." I stated bluntly not caring anymore. "We'll be back soon with your paper work." They said in unison before leaving. Max entered looking up at the X-Rays I guess before sitting down. "So what's the verdict?" He asked jokingly. "I'm dying." I stated softly, turning to face him as tears finally pricked my eyes.

     "Oh God.." He got up and sat down on my bed pulling me into a tight hug. "did they say how long?.." He asked softly. I nodded into his shoulder. "A week.. 3 if I'm lucky.." I mumbled through tears. I heard him take a sharp inhale. "Are you going to tell the guys?" He asked rocking us side to side in a soothing way. "I don't know yet... please keep this between us... I just wanna live my last days happily.." I mumbled. I felt him nod before softly saying okay.

                              -_-_-_-_-Present, Hotel!-_-_-_-_-

     I opened my eyes to see a little bit of blood mixing with water on the floor of the shower. I wiped under my nose and turned the shower off. Hopping out I grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped myself up in it. I walked toward the mirror above the sink to look at my reflection. Look deep at the man in the mirror who was supposed to be me I flinched. My skin was beyond deathly pale, you could count everyone of my ribs and my eyes looked sunk into my skull with black rings around them. I began coughing roughly. Placing my hand over my mouth to hold the germs back I felt liquid splatter across my Palm. Pulling my hand back I noticed blood specks all over. I hung my head and sighed feeling overwhelming sadness wash over me. "Hey Y,n are you in there?" Jordan asked knocking on the bathroom door. "Yea!" I called in a raspy voice as I quickly washed my hands.

     Walking to the door I opened it to reveal a smiling Jordan. "I was thinking we could go to the beach for a bit then get some lunch since it's noon." He said walking in and toward the toilet I smirked having an idea. I shut the door behind me and walked over to our bed. I let go over the towel I had wrapped around me before laying on the bed like a virgin sacrifice. I heard the bathroom open and a small chuckle. I felt the bed dip as he crawled over me and gave my lips a kiss. "I take it you have a different plan in mind?" He asked huskily. I grinned and wrapped my arms around him letting my lips explore the bare skin of his should and neck. I smirk as I heard his breath hitch from my gentle suckling on his neck. (Hickies are horrible things. their not 'sexy' You are fucking up your lovers blood vessels, stop it.)

      

     I sat with Jordan watching the sun set over the water. "Sun sets beautiful tonight." I murmured as I felt liquid dripping down my face again. I sighed wiping away blood with the back of my hand. "Y,n.. What's with all the nose bleeds? And please don't tell me it's nothing, or don't worry.." Jordan said softly taking my free hand. I whimpered feeling tears prick my eyes. "I can't tell you... You won't love me anymore..." I sobbed into my knees. I felt Jordan wrap his arms tightly around me, holding me against his chest. "I could never not love you y,n.. please tell me.." He pleaded I could hear sadness in his voice. I felt a pang of guilt stab at my chest. I took a deep breath before lifting my head to look at him. "I'm.. dying..." I said slowly watching his face. His eyes held concern. "Don't joke about that stuff y,n seriously though, what's wrong?" He asked completely oblivious. I reached up and slapped him. "I am dying. I have a few days left under my belt..  I didn't want to tell you because I wanted to enjoy my last few days worry free.. I didn't want you constantly worrying or taking care of me... I just wanted to have my happy memories with you.." I growled tears streaming down my cheeks.

   He lifted his hand from my back and placed it on my cheek wiping away the tears. His eyes held regret, love, sorrow and concern. He pressed his lips to mine and held me in a passionate kiss as his other hand rubbed my back gently. He pulled back and smiled weakly at me. "I'm sorry y,n.. When does your treatment start?.." He asked a slight glitter of hope sparked in his eyes. "I don't..  even if I did the treatment it would only prolong the pain and suffering a few month.. counting down the days just ain't living.." I said softly looking into his eyes. A thousand emotions flickered through. Anger, hate, love, sorrow, guilt but they settled on understanding. "I respect your decisions love.. Let's go make some memories in what time you have, Shall we?" He asked lovingly. I nodded as he pulled us up.

    "Oh and y,n.. I could never not love you.. I love you forever.." He said kissing me softly before pulling me through the beach to the hotel. I giggled like a teenage girl at his eagerness. He chuckled but I could hear the hint of sorrow in his voice. 'These last days will be my best..' I thought with a sad smile spread across my lips.

(Hello, I want you to know for some reason I've been in a rather dark mood so lots of depressing things I suppose. Sorry. Well as always I'll see you in the next chapter, enjoy, Stay 20:20, & RTE OUT! :3 )