Unlawful Shadows | +18

Chapter 28

Elowen's POV

As the sun began to rise, the soft light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. I lay there, cocooned in the arms of my brothers, the night's events replaying in my mind. Their presence was comforting, yet I couldn't shake the nagging doubts that settled in the pit of my stomach.

Lysander's warm breath brushed against my neck, and I felt safe, yet my mind spiraled with uncertainty. The moments we shared were intoxicating, but were they just fleeting? I had spent the night with all of them, and the thought of what that truly meant gnawed at me.

When I finally managed to slip from their grasp, the silence of the house felt deafening. I wandered into the living room, trying to gather my thoughts. The memories of our passionate encounters lingered, but the nagging feeling of worthlessness resurfaced, the echoes of my stepmother's harsh words haunting me.

"Why would they want me?" I muttered to myself, sinking into the couch. I buried my face in my hands, feeling overwhelmed. The tears that threatened to spill were a mixture of confusion and frustration, and I hated feeling this way. I had been with the brothers, shared something so deep and intimate, yet doubt gnawed at my insides.

I could almost hear my stepmother's voice, cold and cutting, reminding me that I would never be enough. "You're just a burden," she had often said, her disdain palpable. I could hear my stepsister's mocking laughter echoing in my mind, taunting me, reminding me that I was nothing special. "No one could ever want you," she would sneer, making me feel small and insignificant.

In their eyes, I had always been the one who couldn't measure up—always second best, always lacking. The brothers were so vibrant, so full of life, and here I was, a shadow of myself. What if they saw me the way my family did? What if I was just a fling to them? The thought twisted my stomach into knots.

The couch felt like quicksand, pulling me deeper into my insecurities. I wrapped my arms around my knees, staring at the floor, hoping to find some semblance of strength within myself. But all I could think about was their laughter and their warmth, how easily they had welcomed me into their lives. Yet the fear of being cast aside haunted me.

"What if they wake up and realize they don't need me?" The thought was like a cold wave crashing over me, and I shivered. I felt so out of place, as if I didn't belong in this moment of happiness. It was as if the past loomed over me, reminding me of every failure, every moment I was made to feel less than.

I pressed my palms to my cheeks, wishing I could wipe away the insecurities that threatened to drown me. "What do they see in me?" I whispered, but the silence around me only deepened my despair. The nagging voice in my head was relentless, reminding me that my worth had always been conditional.

I wanted to be strong, to be confident, to bask in the affection of the brothers without fear. But every time I thought of them, the memories of my family's cruelty flashed before my eyes. I felt like a fraud, a girl who had somehow slipped through the cracks into a world where she didn't belong.

I was still lost in my thoughts when the brothers finally emerged, their laughter echoing down the hallway. The sound sent a jolt through me, and I quickly wiped my cheeks dry, hoping they wouldn't notice how vulnerable I felt. But as they entered the living room, I could feel the weight of the air shift.

"What's wrong, Elowen?" Lysander asked, his voice filled with concern. But I couldn't meet his eyes; instead, I stared down at my hands, twisting them together nervously.

"Nothing," I muttered, but the lie felt heavy in the air, and I knew they could sense it.

Zephyr stepped forward, a predatory glint in his eyes. "You're not fooling anyone. Tell us what's going on."