Wintumn

Can You Feel My Heart

A/N - the thought behind this came to me the other day, so i decided to do a bit of research and try and raise some awareness

TW: Miscarriage, Blood

Winter walked into the bathroom, seeing Autumn curled up on the floor. The cold tile made a feeble attempt to ground the shaking woman. Her tears wiping today's makeup off her face. "My sweet, what's wrong?" the black-haired man threw himself to the ground to comfort his wife. His hand landed straight on Autumn's back, the other reaching for one of hers. She was trembling, her lips glued shut from the sheer force of her crying. Winter leant his head down to her head, kissing her scalp softly. He embraced her for a bit longer, helping her regulate her breathing and her tears to slow. "I'll be back in a moment my darling, I'm going to get you a glass of water," he whispered, kissing her head again before standing up. Autumn softly nodded in response.

When he got the glass and brought it back upstairs, he had to walk through the bedroom. The bed was messy, which was very unusual for the pair. He went to take a closer look and noticed something which filled him with realisation and panic. There was a slight blood stain on the sheets. From there he knew exactly what was happening. Autumn's periods were terrible at the best of times, Winter knew that all too well. He really was a gentleman when it came to it, he would give her everything and more before she'd even ask for it. But this was the first one since the loss, and although they were both healing, neither of them were over it yet. It's not my turn to be upset right now, it's Autumn's, Winter thought. He knew that wasn't necessarily true, both of them went through it and he was allowed to feel, but he wasn't the one curled up on the bathroom floor at this moment in time.

He rushed back into the bathroom, handing the glass to his wife and helping her sit up to drink it. "Autumn, I saw the bed, I think I know what's wrong, I'm here when you're ready to talk my love," he promised, rubbing Autumn's back as she drank. She looked at him with thankful eyes, continuing to sip from the glass. They stayed silent for a while, Autumn finally able to breathe without her eyes spilling tears and Winter wanting to take away her pain. When Autumn finished the water, she rested her head on Winter's shoulder. Her thoughts tried to come back for a moment, Winter could tell from the fact that she was holding her breath slightly. His arm snaked around her, pressing her into him, making sure she knew he was there.

"My sweet, I'm so sorry for making you relive it all again. I just saw the blood and everything came back, and it just felt like a reminder that I'm not pregnant anymore. It hurt, you were still at work and I panicked. The next thing I knew, you were here. I'm sorry," Autumn explained. Winter's gaze softened, wanting to hold her and never ever let go. "Oh my darling girl, you don't have to apologise, I should have been here but I was kept so late by a stupid parent. Also, have you eaten, my love?" he reassured. Autumn nodded, feeling her eyes begin to well up again. Winter ran his hand through her hair, making small circles on Autumn's scalp with his fingertips.

She'd never felt so much until recently. Everything she had ever told Winter was all in the past or just the lingering effects of her trauma. She had never experienced anything so big with him. Autumn knew that he could calm and ground her like it was nothing, she knew that Winter would forever love her like it was breathing. But she never expected to go through such a trauma with him and have him be so supportive. Although he was struggling too, he would never fail to put his girl first. That's why when Reece brought up therapy to her, she agreed, as long as Winter could come too. She wanted to give back, it wasn't just her who went through the miscarriage. Autumn may have endured the physical effects on her body on top of the emotional effects, but Winter lost out on his lifelong dream. He so desperately wanted children, and while he knew this didn't necessarily mean they could never have them, he was still devastated by the sheer thought that he lost what could have been. They had to face it together, and neither could have done it without the other.

"Do you want me to run you a bath, my sweet?" Winter queried, ushering her off his shoulder and looking into her eyes. A small 'please' was all that she could muster. He stood up, moving to the other side of the room and turning on the taps. "I'll be right back my love, I'm just gonna change the mattress cover," he announced. Autumn kept her eye on the bath and Winter returned within a couple minutes. He helped Autumn remove her clothes and held her hand as she sunk into the water. He turned the taps off and just sat. Their hands were still intertwined, and Winter admired the beauty of his love. In his eyes, he saw nothing less than an ethereal goddess and he would go as far as he could and back just for her. He helped her clean herself, keeping her hair up and out of the way. Autumn was very picky about her hair, Winter knew that, she had certain wash days for it and she knew exactly how to take care of it. She liked her schedules and routines, and spontaneity scared her. Ironic how every step of progress in their relationship was a surprise, it was the only time she'd accept it. She knew he'd keep her safe forever and always.

When Winter had finished bathing his lover, he grabbed a towel to wrap around her. Instead of just drying Autumn off, he cradled her with it, encapsulating her in the comforting enclosure. Her tears had been completely whisked away, by whom she could now quite literally call her 'knight in shining armour'. She would be eternally grateful for this man, he came into her life when she needed him the most. "Winter?" Autumn whispered. "Yes, my love?" "Thank you, I love you, my sweet," she purred, head resting on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat resonating in her soul. It reminded her that she had him, someone to take care of her, someone to stay.