residence: to all the girls who had my heart

she wanted only my body

my first girlfriend had wandering fingers —
over my neck, thighs, and hips they always lingered.

i was desired for once, lusted after and wanted!
who could reject red lips and brown eyes, though slightly haunted?

but she began weighing herself, then everything she ate,
then trips to the toilet like clockwork at eight.

grazing hands turned sharp nails, often leaving scars,
sighs 'round my throat, now bruised with disregard.

trembling fingers trace my bones and tear thin skin,
wandering eyes yearn for imitation, no longer for sin.

i wonder now, a decade later, did she truly desire me?
or did she treasure me only for a taste of my body?