When She Looks At Me | BTS & BLACKPINK

Chapter 6: Friends?

Taehyung's POV:

I stood there down watching them both on the top of the roof living the dream life I wanted to live. He was playing the guitar, singing a song I'd never heard of and Jennie seemed to be so happy. I could see her smiling and he was strumming the strings of his little guitar but my heart sank.

Ugh. I wanted her to be happy but only with me and not with him. I know that was a weird assertion but the reason was that I was poisoned with a desperation for her. But I couldn't deny the fact that he was singing like an angel on the verge of heart-wrenching tears. I could listen to his voice dissipating into blurred echoes that sounded really great with his tenor.

Abruptly, in the spur of the moment, I had seen something I didn't want to see. I saw her holding his hands and then she kissed him so passionately that my heart burned into pieces. Watching them made me feel so terrible that my hands began to shudder. I had to stop them somehow. I couldn't see them doing that any longer. So, I had decided to ring his door, call his Mom outside and interrupt them. But what would I say to his Mom? I had to come up with a good excuse for ringing at his door so late in the night.

Hmmm....

I'll just walk up to the door and think of something right now. My legs propelled towards the door as I summoned myself to ring the bell. The bell rang and immediately, Jungkook's mom opened the door and greeted me.
"Hello, Taehyung. What calls you here right now?" Jungkook's Mom asked.
I stood there frozen with a fake smile stretched upon my face as I stood there cluelessly. What should I say? Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck my head like a bullet that bled with a good idea.

"I came here for finishing the science project," I said.
"Is it that urgent?" she asked.
"Apparently, yeah!" I lied biting my lips.
"Okay, I think he's up there on the roof. I'll call him down," she said reminiscing where could he be.

"Sorry guys for interrupting! But Taehyung has come here for some school project," his mom shouted at the top of her lungs.
Jungkook and Jennie had finally stopped kissing each other and that cooled down my heart's boiling froth of jealousy. Looking at my face, Jungkook seemed to have been flustered by my sudden arrival and Jennie, she looked blank and bereft of any expression.
"When did you come?" Jungkook asked me as he glowered at me with a pretty unhappy expression because of my interruption.
"Don't worry, I didn't see a thing," I said chuckling deviously.
"Why did you come?" he asked irked at me.
"Science project, remember?" I said.
"Isn't that due after two weeks?" he asked.
"The thing is that I won't be available tomorrow onwards for this science project. I have to prepare rigorously for the HYBE evaluation tests," I said.
"Don't we have to do the project with only 3-4 members in it? So, let's three do it and even I would be busy with YG for the coming days," Jennie said.
"Yeah, sure. Let's finish it within an hour," Jungkook said giving in to finish it.
"Okay, let's go inside," I said as I signaled them too.

I went inside his house and although, I've been here a million times, it felt awkward with Jennie around since I couldn't stop gazing at her. So, we entered his tiny room crammed with useless things and there, we sat on the floor after rolling down a carpet with all the chart papers to do the project. His room was a kaleidoscope of the most obsolete, old, ancient and second-hand things that made it feel so messy. But, something caught my eye. A picture of Jungkook and Jennie in a photo-frame but I could see me in Jungkook. This imbecile heart of mine just drives me insane. I couldn't stand seeing them together. 

"Here you go Jennie, I've got you a cup of banana milk and Taehyung, get up on your own and take it from that table. I'm going to get mine downstairs so carry on with the project," Jungkook said as he left the room. He must be pretty mad at me for interrupting his kiss! Hahaha...I feel so diabolically notorious. Anyway, it was only me and Jennie in the room and she said, "I'll get the banana milk for you, Taehyung."

"No need to get up," I protested but she didn't listen. I stood up trying to tell her to sit back down but she persisted. She grabbed onto the cup and I couldn't help noticing how tiny her precious hands and there was a golden bracelet around her wrist with Jungkook's initials on it as it read- JK flashing and refracting with sparkles blinding me in the eyes.
The shine aberrated to such an extent that I couldn't stop looking at it feeling the thirst of jealousy brimming at the ring of my throat. It should be me- my initials lingering around her wrist and not his. Why couldn't it be me? I thought to myself.

Suddenly as Jennie walked towards me, she bent down to keep my cup next to me but ended up losing her balance as she fell down upon me and my heart jumped up falling in love with her. That moment felt so surreal watching her looking right at me and our lips were a few breaths apart. I could feel my blood pressure rising that I could have passed into a trance for life watching her. Her eyes glimmered and I could feel the sparks arising like a tornado of glitter adorning my life into a celestial paradise. That moment was what I craved for and now that I got it, I could never forget it.

Suddenly, the door was ajar as it creaked open. Jungkook was about to walk in until Jennie recoiled and stood upon her two feet clutching onto my cup of banana milk kept beside me.

And guess what? 

She threw the banana milk on my face! First, she had put pepper spray all over my face on the road before and now this? 

I could feel that slimy drink dripping all over my face like a rush of rainfall but it was gravely unpleasant! I winced as I watched Jennie in horror.

"Why are you so annoying?" she said and then she winked at me. Was she telling me to play along?

"No, why are you so annoying?" I replied feeling like a five-year-old clamoring to his friend.

"What's going on?" Jungkook intervened hissing at me. I could see him narrowing his eyes in fury because of the reckless wastage of banana milk since he was a huge fan of it...

"Nothing. He's just so dumb. He doesn't even know the difference between an atom and a compound," Jennie said trying not to burst into laughter. I could feel the stifled laughter pulsating in the atmosphere because I was looking like a clown in that banana milk splashed all over my face.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Let's finish the project tomorrow at school in the lunch break," I said, "I have to go."

"Okay, "Mr. I'm not available tomorrow onwards" ," Jungkook said as he signaled me to leave.

I left feeling really awkward until I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was a soft, delicate and feminine one on which I jittered as I felt it.

It was Jennie.

"I'm so sorry about throwing that banana milk on you. I didn't mean to. I just wanted Jungkook to not see me fallen over you. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea since we're just friends and I just pretended to be annoyed with you. That's why I threw the milk to show that we were fighting. I know that sounds extremely stupid but I'm really sorry. So, anyway, are we still friends?" she pleaded with me widening her eyes curiously.

"We're friends..." I said fervently and waved her a goodbye. I stepped outside his house completely fractured like a shackled mirror from inside by listening the word "friends" because I wanted to be her boyfriend. That was the word I wanted to listen from her lips but for now it was just me and my pet dog, Yeontan, I guess...

"Am I destined to be alone forever?

Whenever I fall in love, life always tells me never. 

I didn't imagine that I could feel so stupid for someone

And now that I want her in my arms, all I can do is be lovelorn. 

I feel so torn like pieces of paper crushed into sawdust

And all those hours dreaming about her was just a waste. 

I hope that she'd see me, fall in love and be with me just the way I had imagined

And I'm trying but all I do is end up being alone and it feels so helpless like there's no true love who's destined.

JUST FOR ME..."

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