Unexpected love

Chapter 1

It is 06:30 p.m. I am looking at the rain outside the window. Without noticing, I chuckle while staring at it. For some reason I find it pretty amusing that is raining in the middle of July. Perhaps the sky is crying for me, or maybe I want to think it that way, since I can not shed a tear for myself right now. Funny, isn't it?

I really don't understand how life works some time. I was perfectly happy just one month ago and then my life turned upside down. I never thought that I would be here, waiting for my future husband, who I do not even know how he looks like, only because my father asked me to.

One month ago I was very excited to turn back home, after 7 years abroad and now here I am, regretting this moment so much. When I came back, I noticed how much my father has aged. Whenever I talked in the phone with him, he seemed fine and healthy, but when I came back, I noticed the wrinkles in his face, his grey hair, the way his body has shrinked and how tired he was.

After my mom's death, he really seemed to be like a dead person between the alives one. I knew that exact moment when he told me the news, that our life changed once and for all. I felt that the shining in his eyes left together with my mom. And I could understand why. Being raised with their love, was the best part of my life. Everyone could notice how in love they were and how much happiness our family had.

Maybe that is the reason why I am suffering this much today. I was the fruit of their love, and I was raised with love. That is why I always has been a hopeless romantic and had very high standards for my love life. Now that I sit here while still waiting since 06:00 p.m, I once again remember the reason why I have never been in a romantic relationship. I never felt love for someone, or even felt like I was loved by someone.

It is true that different guys have expressed their interest towards me, but I always felt that they liked only the way I looked. Yes, I take care of myself, I eat healthy, I exercise, I meditate, I take care of my skin and maybe have a good fashion style, but I do not do all that to impress males. I do it for me. I do it so I can be happy and proud when I see myself in the mirror. Cause while looking at myself I see a determined and disciplined person, who loves herself.

Maybe these things make a guy like me, I do not know, but I concluded that all the guys that has asked me out, was only because of my looks, not cause of my personality. Not that I have a bad personality, but they did not even had the chance to get to know me, since they would stop me in the street and say: "Let's hang out. I like you." Like excuse me? What is wrong with you?

While I think of this things, I sigh. I really wonder what happened to people to become this cold feelings. I want a love that is shy, a love that makes my heart warm, a love that makes me feel like I am flying and a love that makes me feel safe. I do not want a love that last for only one night. I really have my doubts if I should call that love or not, but anyway it really makes me sad knowing that now even if I want to, I will not have the chance to find a love of that kind. Cause even though without my consent my life was sealed by other people.