NIGERIAN MEN WILL STAIN YOUR WHITE

5

Ola had persistently pestered Rita till she gave in. Blocking his number didn't help. Once she did he would call with another number. Did the man work for a sim service provider? They had agreed to meet at a restaurant of her preference. She picked a nice simple place where the food was good. Good food would help her survive the ordeal. She arrived five minutes later than the set time which was very different from her usual self. She saw him already seated and walked over to join him.
"Hope I am not too late?" she asked as she sat down.
"Not at all," Ola replied, "I just got here myself. Thank you for making out time." "You are welcome," Rita replied.
"So what would you like to have?" he asked her, "I hear the food here is great." "I will have fried rice, salad, and a glass of juice," she answered.
"Just that," he said, "are you sure you don't want anything else."
"Nothing else," she said. Rita lived by a rule to not get greedy when out with a man and only eat what she could easily afford should things turn ugly.
"If you say so," Ola said, and proceeded to place their orders. He repeated what she wanted to the waitress and for himself, he got a plate of ofada rice and stew, two servings of asun, and a bottle of a very expensive bottle of wine.

They talked as they waited for the food. "So tell me, Rita," Ola said, "what do you do for a living?"
Rita frowned. Why was he asking her for her occupation on the first date? "I am social media influencer," she replied.
"That's nice. Does it pay well?" he asked.
Rita's frown deepened. "It pays the bills," she said.
The food arrived and they ate while carrying on with the conversation. "You see, my dear if you were my girl you wouldn't need to work a day in your life. I would handle
all the bills," Ola boasted, "I am an investor so I earn quite a sizable income."
"Oh really. What do you invest in?" Rita asked.
"Just a few things here and there," he said not really answering the question.
Rita smiled. This one thinks I am a fool. They carried on with lunch occasionally conversing. When they were done the bill was brought to their table. Ola brought out his wallet and made a show of looking for his card.
He said to Rita, "my dear it seems I left my card at home."
Rita shook her head. She turned to the waitress and asked, "do you people accept transfers?"
"Yes ma we do," the waitress replied.
Rita said to Ola, "you can transfer to them then."
"I would have, but there is a slight problem," he replied, "I don't use USSD and my
mobile app crashed two days ago. I haven't had time to rectify it at the bank."
Rita stared at him not saying anything. It was obvious what was going on here. "My dear, can you settle the bill and I will get my secretary to reimburse you," he
said.

"Why don't you ask her to transfer directly to them while we wait," Rita replied. Two can play at this game.
Ola looked like he wasn't expecting her to say that. "The thing is I gave her an assignment before I left the office so she would be very busy with it."
"I am done playing this game," Rita said. She turned to the waitress who was patiently waiting and said, "please calculate just what I ate and charge it to my card." She
handed her card to the waiteress.
"What about his bill?" the waiter asked.
"He's a big boy," Rita said, "I'm sure he can sort himself out."
The waiter did as she was told and returned Rita's card to her. Ola looked on in disbelief as Rita got up to leave.
"Investor in the mud," she said to him as she walked past.
***
Even in her own house, Rita was still late. She lived in a modest one-bedroom
apartment so it took me no time to get to the bedroom. I pushed the door aside without bothering to knock. There were certain boundaries that did not exist between us.
"This girl, what are we going to do with you?" I asked as I entered the room, "just look how you kept everyone waiting."
Rita immediately grabbed a towel to cover herself. "Oh! It's you," she said and dropped the towel back and continued applying lotion on her body.
"Look at this one. No be only girls dey this house abi you keep man for here?" I asked. Her action seemed very funny to me.
"It was reflex action," she said defending herself.

I shook my head. "It's not like you have anything I have not seen before," I said teasing her.
She threw the discarded towel at me and I dodged it in the nick of time. "You missed," I announced triumphantly.
"See, reflex action," she said, "if you insist on staying here, and annoying me you might as well put yourself to good use." She handed me the lotion "Take and rub it on my back." Then she turned her back toward me.
I took the bottle from her. "So who was doing it for you before?" I asked her.
"Mike was helping me out," she said and frowned. It seemed like calling his name had taken her down memory lane. "Now I have you," she said to me.
"What of tomorrow when I am not here?" I asked. I poured out a generous amount of lotion on my hand. It was a bit cold.
"I will manage somehow. Ah, Efua!" she screamed when I applied the lotion on her back, "that's too much." She took the bottle from me and shook it. "See now you have finished it and it's very expensive."
Rita was being dramatic. I rolled my eyes at her and sat on the bed. "You and I both know you are exaggerating," I said to her. "Please hurry up and come out."
"I had lunch with Ola," Rita said out of the blue.
"Finally," I said, "you decided to embrace wisdom. Aren't you happy you listened to me?" I asked.
"You wish," she said, "at the moment you are my least favourite person.
My face fell. "What happened?" I asked.
"We were at the restaurant," Rita replied, "and when it was time to pay the bill, he
played the 'oh no! I left my ATM card at home' card."