Diary Of A Lonely Daughter

Why the difference??

DIARY ENTRY - 4

It cannot go unnoticed. The difference. I cannot unnotice the difference of how you treat me and my brother. I have seen how you look at him. And I have seen how you look at me. The difference is quite noticeable.

I have to wake up at 5 in the morning, get myself freshened up, water the plants, make my own lunch box, eat my breakfast and get ready to leave at 7 for my college. All this time when I am doing my things by myself, you are only after your son - waking him up, getting him to brush his teeth, forcing him to take a bath, making his lunch box for him, feeding him breakfast with your own hands and dropping him off to school because he missed his bus (all of this when he's only half awake). I don't know what you do after coming back because by that time I'd had already left.

Even after you make me do all the chores, you don't even appreciate me for it. Even after I give you the respect that you don't even deserve, you don't even respect me back. Even after I come running down the stairs (even if I am studying) each and every time when you call out my name for the slightest of reasons, you just ignore me when I come to you. You have never acknowledged me for anything. ( You just impose yourself on me. )

And on the other hand when your son doesn't even flinch when you call out his name, or when he doesn't even pay attention to what you say, or when he doesn't even heed your instructions, when he literally ignores you even when you call out for him right in front of him, or when he continues to play video games without responding when you ask for a glass of water to him, or when he retorts back and disrespects you, and even after all of those things, you always give him all of your love, care, affection and attention. And of course, instead of scolding him you impose his part of chores onto me.

Now you tell me, how can I not be jealous of my brother?? And by the way, I am just jealous of him, not angry at him, nor do I hate him. Because it is not his fault. The person who actually is at fault is you, mom. I hate You, mom.

But, why mom?? Why the difference?? He is literally just two years younger than me. He is not a baby at all. Well, if you think he is your baby even at this age, I didn't get treated like him when I was his age. Was I not your baby, too?? Or is it just because he is a son and I am a daughter?? If that is so, what was my fault in the first place?? What wrong did I do to deserve all of this??

Is it too much to ask for?? To show that you care?? If you cannot bring it in yourself to show me some of your love, at least just pretend, mom. Just pretend. Just pretend that you care for me, just pretend that you love me. (If that's not much to ask for)

I think the only mistake I have made is to exist.

*Sighs*
Isabella

I am publishing after so longgg. Actually I had my examsss, that's whyyy.

Anyways, love y'all!

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