It was now time for Alaz to move into his new house.He was so anxious that Asi wouldn't make him feel welcomed into the building but the good side was that now he was close to her,so close,she was just across his apartment.
But he still felt distant to the idea of being close in that type of way to Asi.
And now they had a baby. A baby??? Even though days had passed since he had learned about their baby, he was still not used to idea of him and Asi now sharing a child.
What if something happens to Asi?
Or,what if something happens to their child? Because of him?
He was worried to the maximum that he would hurt them with his presence.
Alaz never ever wanted them to suffer again.
But wouldn't Asi also have it harder in the future because he was not there,by their side?
~
Oh yeah,she probably would.
Even though she had tried to shut these thoughts down everyday, the worry of a first-time mom never left her being.
Who was going to send her to the hospital when it's time to go into labor?
Who was going to help her get back home with a baby in her arms and a heavy back of new responsibilities?
What if she would experience post-birth depression???
Would she be able to take care of herself first and then give her baby the attention and caring it needs?
What if she couldn't be able to properly feed her child?
Or,if she failes to be a good parent to her child..?
Who would be there by her side to support her in every step of raising her kid?
She feared that no one would be there.
It's not like she ever had someone anyways, but now she needed that support more than ever ,now that her child will arrive very soon.
~
Her day had already started with a bad vibe.
She got nauseous and had to vomit straight away after smelling the eggs she was having for breakfast.
"But how does this still happen?I'm 7 months now.." she thought.
She had to leave house without breakfast.The young woman was feeling really weak and didn't have the nerves to try and eat anything else.She gladly drunk a cup of tea,put her on clothes and left.
She left her apartment only to see a bunch of stacked up boxes blocking the stairway.
"These probably belong to the new neighbor."
They did.
Alaz was inside talking on the phone while trying to fix a lamp in the restroom.
"I needed the money to buy a new house,mom.I also asked Osman abi to send me the stuff left in my room."
He talked to his mother like he normally would,ignoring the fact that she hadn't heard his voice in too many weeks.
"The problem isn't the money though,son. I see that..you are now building a new life for yourself,Alaz.And none of us is apart of it.What is going on,son? I can't sleep, worry doesn't let me. Please, Alaz, talk to me."
"Anne,please don't think like that.Yes,I've been through a lot lately but nothing would make me ignore you,I love you so much mom.
But to be honest with you..I don't even know where to start from.There is a lot to say. I'm trying to fix a lot of things in my life,mom.But I can't even seem to fix a lamp.."
He said in an annoying tone.
"Tamam,tamam. I'll send you a few workers to help you, send me your location.I hope everything turns out for the better,son.I love you too."
"Don't se-"
Someone rings his door.
"Mom,I need to hang up now, someone is behind the door, I have to answer.Ill send you the location,okay?Bye."
"Okay,Alaz.Take care."
Alaz answers the door in a hurry.
"Welc-"
Asi didn't get to finish her welcoming sentence.
"Or,you know what? You are not welcomed here.At all,Alaz."
She said as she was trying to lift the heavy boxes that were getting in her way.
"Asi,what do you think you're doing?These boxes are heavy,I'll take them."
Alaz said as he was fighting with Asi for the box in their hands.
She knew he was right so she just let him handle the box with disappointment in her face.
"I don't understand you Alaz. I swear to God that I don't.What are you even doing?Why?Why are you doing this?"
Alaz kept on moving the boxes inside,not answering anything she was asking.
"Alaz, I'm talking to you.Why are you doing this? I need a decent answer."
Alaz finally let his last box inside his apartment and got ready to give her an answer.
"The decent answer is this, that I know want to he close to you,and do whatever you can do, there is no escape. Neither you can escape from me now, and nor I can escape from my responsibilities from now on."
"Pardon?Did you just say responsibilities? What type of responsibilities do you even have Alaz?Do you really consider yourself a responsible person?"
"Really, Asi? What responsibilities? Asi. We literally have a child together.
A CHILD. I have a new relationship to create and another one to rebuild,Asi."
"You have neither of those.You lost the right to do such things a long time ago.Dont make me remind you what happened."
"Make me remind,Asi. Please,make me remind what an asswhole I have been to you, how much I hurt you, how I didn't want our baby...I remind these to myself every day and night Asi, there would be no difference if you also do it."
"Did you start to consult with a therapist or what?"
"What are u trying to say, Asi?"
Letting out an innocent smile.
"I mean,you and being aware of your mistakes and responsibilities.It hit differently."
"Of course it is going to hit differently,Asi. From now on I will be a different man.I am trying to change."
"Your therapist is doing an amazing job,let me tell you."
"Evet, Asi. I will change and you will see. I am sorry...If I ever say 'I am sorry' will you ever forgive me Asi? Tell me truth."
"No,obviously."
"The things I've done to you cannot be erased that easily with a simple apology,right? So,now what is left to me it to take action,Asi.To become a real man,for you, and the little one."
"Bitti mi?"
"What?"
"Did you finish you speech?That's what I'm saying to you.
Because I already got tired of hearing your bullshit.How can you come after such time, and talk to me like things are easy to fix? You have no idea what I've been through these past months and now you espect me to hear your emotional speech? No. I'm not that Asi anymore. I'm not that Asi that still hopes that things can get better. Because you proved to me that they CAN'T get better.
This is not one of those games you are used to, Alaz Soysalan. So better go back to your playground and leave me and MY little one alone."
"Asi,please-"
"Stop,don't talk anymore."
She said in a decisive tone and then went down the stairs leaving him there still from the shock.
He really thought he had a chance.
_________
Idk what I did here to be fair
Let me know what u think ❤️
