Pretty Pink Flowers : Poolverine x OC

1

It was a month after Deadpool and Wolverine saved their timeline and after the dust settled, Wade found himself feeling antsy to be a part of a team again. Bigger than just Wolverine.

Not sure how you could be bigger than Wolverine. Trust me ... I don't bottom frequently but especially after-
Hello dear sweet reader!

He found himself sitting across from Happy once again. This time he felt confident and expectant of an offer to join the team. He did kind of save his world and bring back one of the planets greatest heroes.

Yes greatest and sexiest.

"Mr.Wilson we-"

"Yes yes a thousand times yes! I've been waiting for the time I'd hear those words come out of that pretty little mouth of yours. Now let's talk salary because I tend to be a bit spendy."

Happy shifts in his seat. Taking a deep breath in and trying to compose himself from the annoyance that is Deadpool.

"We want to offer you a spot-"

"Well OF COURSE YOU DO!!! Did you SEE what I did in the void? I was like BAM and then that bald girl was totally finger banging my brain folds and I was like NUH UH Mr.Clean. I'm a Leader! I'm an avenger! I'm ... I am Marvel Jesus."

"SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. We WANT to offer you a spot but after the amount of TVA bloodshed we saw you enjoy .. we need to see a new side. We need to trust you Wade."

This was when I realized holy fuck they're serious. Saving my timeline wasn't enough and now I need to jump through MORE hoops for these fucks. I don't roll like that, I do what I want when I want however the fuck I want.

"What is it? I'll do anything."

Shut up, don't look at me like that. Being an avenger is the shit. I could be on a lunchbox... I could have dental insurance!

"We have had our ears close to the ground concerning a potential recruit. Powers we haven't seen before, passion that could never be taught, and a noble purpose for doing it all. She could be a monumental asset to us."

"Cool beans happy sack, but what the fuck does that have to do with me?"

"She could be great. We see promise, but we also see environmental terrorism, biological warfare, and an unwillingness to join a team."

"Does she like .. fuck bugs?"

"Wh- No she does not do that. She has an ability to communicate with and control any and all plant life. You sick freak."

"Ohhh so she's like-"

"No."

"But she's just like Poi-"

"Nope, no she's not."

"Dude she sounds just like Poison Iv-"

"MOVING ON. The locals are calling her The Botanist. We have sent our most high profile and decorated avengers to attempt at making her feel compelled to hang up the vine strangling of oil barons and to use those powers for less violent pursuits. So far she hasn't responded well to any of them."

"Well what about Star Lord, isn't he your favorite little anti-hero pacifier?"

"He was the first person we sent.. she had a near by willow tree pull his pants down with its branches and then dangled him upside down until he was unconscious."

"She sounds fun."
Ohhhh you have no idea how fun she is.

"We think she might respond better to someone .. like you. She's in Seattle we plan on-"

"Letting me use the company jet?" He claps his hands in delight.

"Paying for an economy seat on the first flight tomorrow morning."

"Delta?"

"JetBlue"

"I'll take it."

"Get her on board with the concept and then bring her here. She is your responsibility and yours alone. Prove it to us that you can do this."

"Yes sir."

I'm definitely bringing Logan. If not just to kidnap this tree hugger, but I also hate when my ears pop on planes and I know he always has the kind of gum that's flavor doesn't just evaporate after a good minute of chewing. And in case the motel is cold and I get lonely. I'd also love to see him in a little sweater that's tight in all the right places as we admire the space needle. We could get oysters and then throw the shells at kids. And then I get to be a fucking avenger. And with Steve dead as dust, I'm guaranteed to be the most fuckable one too.