You Cannot Put a Fire Out // Sebastian Sallow [Book Three]

Chapter Eight: Sorry, Grateful

Sebastian pounded frantically on Anne and Ominis's front door. How he ended up here, he couldn't say. Since he read Damien's note, everything was a blur. 

As he waited for someone, any goddamn person to come to the door, he glanced down at himself, relieved to see he had remembered to throw on some presentable clothing, although everything looked a bit disheveled. Understandable, under the terrible circumstances.

"Sebastian?" Anne said, opening the door a crack. Sebastian was surprised at the wash of relief that ran through him upon realizing it was Anne. "Is something wrong?" She swung the door open. Sebastian stumbled through it, his whole body crumpling into Anne's embrace. Sebastian's eyes started to burn. He willed himself not to start blubbering. It worked, for now.

Anne patted his back gently as she maneuvered him over to the sofa in the corner of the sitting room.

"Is this about Damien?" she asked gently.

Sebastian took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself. His hands trembled, betraying whatever he was feeling. He couldn't quite place his finger on it. Anger? Fear? Whatever it was, at least he hadn't burst into frustrated tears. That would have been absolutely absurd. Damien's letter wasn't even all that straightforward! It was ridiculous he was even fretting about it. Pull yourself together, Sebastian, he scolded himself. He was better than this.

"It's about Damien," Anne said, answering herself. "You're in luck." She settled down beside Sebastian on the sofa, resting her hand on his thigh. "Ominis took Leigh and Al to the market, so we're alone."

Sebastian exhaled. His shoulders relaxed ever so slightly.

"What's this about?" Anne pressed, a furrow forming above her brow. "Did last night's conversation not go well?"

"Have you ever regretted getting married?" Sebastian heard himself say, surprising even himself.

Anne blinked. "Pardon?"

"Perhaps not," he sighed wearily.

Anne paused, as if she were carefully considering something, then said, "I wouldn't say I regret it, per se."

Sebastian cocked his head, intrigued. "What do you mean?"

"Marriage is hard, especially with children," she explained, her tone tinged with the slightest hint of resignation.

Sebastian waited patiently for her to elaborate.

"So, I suppose my answer is sometimes. Sometimes I do regret getting married." She glanced down at her lap, then back up, meeting Sebastian's eyes once more, before elaborating further. "But when you truly love someone, that love doesn't disappear, even during the hard times. It gets buried, hidden deep within yourself. You have to actively choose to unearth it. I've made that choice many times over the years. Was it worth it? Absolutely." Anne patted Sebastian's thigh. "Absolutely."

It was now Sebastian's turn to look away. He couldn't look his sister in the eye. Why? Why was this so difficult? He took another steadying breath. "I still love Damien deeply. So much it hurts. But it's different now," he somehow managed to eke out.

"I know what you mean. And it's okay, Seb." He could feel Anne's gaze boring into him. He brought his eyes back to hers slowly, cautiously.

"To make matters worse, I feel like he's keeping something from me," he spat out.

Anne released her light grip on Sebastian's thigh and leaned back against the sofa. "Damien? Keeping something from you?"

"I know it's ridiculous. I know you think it should be the other way around."