Babysitting and Bloodbaths

1983 continued

November 10th 1983 - When the birds started twittering I left the house, drove around for a bit until it was time for school, I hadn't changed my clothes, or brushed my teeth, or washed my face, I didn't even think about it, when I walked through those doors, everything was silent, it's like time stopped, everyone was looking at me, with sadness, I clench my jaw and start walking towards my first class, but I pass a notice board with a missing poster of Will, I go up to it and rip it down, Eddie comes up to me trying to convince me to go home but I ignore him, putting the poster in the bin and heading to my classroom.

For my free period I thought I'd just sit in the car park, I didn't really have anywhere else to go, I pull out my cigs and light one up, just as I clear my head I see Steve with his lapdog Tommy H and Carol exit the school, they see me, whisper among each other and then they start walking towards me, I look away trying to make it seem like I didn't clock them.

"Hey, Jodi. You should be at home. Taking care of yourself." Steve approaches me, with the kind of softness you'd approach a wild wolf with.

"Not really in the mood for lectures, Steve. Especially not from you." I take a drag of my cigarette and look at him.

"See, I told you she'd be like this." Carol whispers but just loud enough so she knows I can hear.

"Looks like someone's having a pity party and none of us are invited." Tommy H just slightly louder than Carol, Steve shoots them a glance, then turns back to me.

"I'm serious, Jodi. You need to take care of yourself. Being here, like this... it's not helping."

"And since when do you care, Steve? You don't get to look out for me now." I put out my cigarette on the car bonnet, my own little fuck you to Steve, he winces slightly at it.

"I'm just trying to help, Jodi. I don't want you to-"

"To what? To fall apart? To break down? Save it, Steve. I don't need your pity, and I definitely don't need their comments." Tommy scoffs. "You got something to say Tommy?" He leans against the bonnet.

"Come on, Jodi. We're just trying to be friendly."

"Friendly?" I say scoffing.

"We're just concerned, you know?" Carol cocks her head, like a puppy waiting for its food, and I'm a nice juicy steak, I stand up.

"Concerned? Please. You're just here to see the train wreck."

"God you caught us." Carol smirks.

"We just wanted front row seats." Tommy H stands up, putting an arm around Carol.

"Shut up, both of you. This isn't the time." Steve is stern but not enough for those two to take him seriously.

"Just... leave me alone, Steve. Go back to your perfect little life. I don't need your fake concern. I don't need anything from you." Steve sighs, defeated.

"Okay. But you know where to find me."

"Yeah, I do." I light another cigarette "And I won't." Steve hesitates for a moment, looking like he wants to say more, but then he turns and walks away with Tommy and Carol in tow.

November 11th 1983 - Will's funeral, so many people were there, but none of them really knew Will, not like Jonathan and I did, Jonathan held my hand through it all, maybe it was for himself, but I'm glad he did. Lonnie came back too, seeing his face made me so fucking angry, but I didn't want to cause anything today, after the ceremony Eddie and I went back to his trailer, and we just drank all night, his uncle Wayne took me home, and when I got there who just so happened to be up, my so called father.