Words of Clarity: An open letter to you

7. Eldest Child

Cleaning the house because telling them that I'm struggling is wrong.

Drinking coffee because yapping about my responsibilities is wrong.

Having a cold shower at night because asking for a little rest is wrong.

"Ikaw na lang ang pag-asa namin."

"Ikaw angmag aahon sa pamilya natin."

So, who would wipe the tears of an eldest child?

An open letter for eldest child,

I see you. I see the weight you carry, the silent burdens you shoulder, and the responsibilities that often feel unending. As the eldest, you've been a trailblazer, a role model, a protector, and sometimes even a second parent. Your role in the family is unique and complex, filled with expectations that are sometimes spoken but often simply understood.

From a young age, you've been expected to set the example. You were the first to navigate the many milestones of childhood, often without the benefit of an older sibling to guide you. Your parents looked to you to set the standard for your younger siblings, to be the first to walk, to talk, to go to school, and to excel. With every achievement, the bar was set higher, not just for you but for those who came after you. And with each new challenge, you faced it head-on, often without the luxury of knowing what to expect.

You learned quickly that being the eldest meant more than just being the first. It meant being responsible, being dependable, and often sacrificing your own needs and desires for the sake of your siblings. How many times did you give up the last piece of cake, the best seat, or your favorite toy? How often did you find yourself mediating disputes, offering comfort, or helping with homework? These acts of selflessness, though sometimes small, added up over the years, shaping you into the person you are today.

As the eldest, you also bore witness to your parents' journey. You saw their triumphs and their struggles, their moments of joy and their times of frustration. You felt their pride in your accomplishments and their disappointment in your mistakes. You understood, often before your siblings did, the complexities of adulthood and the sacrifices that come with raising a family. This awareness, this understanding, has made you wise beyond your years, but it has also placed a heavy burden on your shoulders.

You were often the first to feel the sting of high expectations. Your successes were celebrated, but your failures were magnified. The pressure to be perfect, to be the shining example, was constant. You might have felt that there was little room for error, that every mistake was a reflection not just on you but on the family as a whole. This pressure, while it may have driven you to excel, also took its toll. It may have left you feeling anxious, stressed, and sometimes overwhelmed.

Yet, through it all, you persevered. You learned to be resilient, to adapt, to find strength in yourself. You developed skills that have served you well throughout your life: leadership, empathy, responsibility, and a strong work ethic. These qualities, honed through years of experience, have made you not just a good sibling but a remarkable person.

But it's important to remember that you are more than your role as the eldest child. You are an individual with your own dreams, desires, and needs. It can be easy to lose sight of this, to become so wrapped up in your responsibilities that you forget to take care of yourself. You deserve to pursue your passions, to take time for yourself, to make mistakes and learn from them without the weight of the world on your shoulders.

It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to set boundaries. It's okay to prioritize your own well-being. You have given so much to others, and it's important to give to yourself as well. Self-care is not selfish; it is necessary. Taking time to recharge, to nurture your own interests, and to seek support when you need it is crucial for your overall health and happiness.

To the eldest child, I want to say thank you. Thank you for your dedication, your hard work, and your unwavering support. Thank you for being a role model, a confidant, and a protector. Thank you for the countless sacrifices you've made, often without recognition or praise. Your contributions to your family are invaluable, and they are deeply appreciated.

I also want to remind you that it's okay to let go of perfection. It's okay to make mistakes, to be vulnerable, to be human. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You are allowed to lean on others, to share your burdens, to seek comfort and support. Your strength is not diminished by asking for help; it is reinforced by it.

As you continue to navigate the complexities of life, remember that you are not alone. Your family loves you, appreciates you, and values you not just for what you do but for who you are. You are a unique, multifaceted individual with so much to offer the world. Embrace your journey, with all its twists and turns, and know that you are enough just as you are.

To the eldest child, you are a beacon of strength and resilience. Your journey has shaped you into a remarkable person, and your future is bright with endless possibilities. Take pride in all that you have accomplished, and look forward to all that you will achieve. Remember to nurture yourself, to honor your own needs, and to live your life with the same passion and dedication that you have given to others.