Words of Clarity: An open letter to you

21. If you can, so what?

If you can, so what? Let's not normalize the phrase - "If they can, so can you."  That's wrong. If someone can, okay. I will find a way to do that too. None of us has the same privilege and life.

The notion that success is simply a matter of willpower and determination is a deeply ingrained belief in many cultures, especially in societies that prioritize individual achievement. The phrase "If they can, so can you" embodies this belief, suggesting that the accomplishments of others are attainable for everyone if they just try hard enough. However, this perspective overlooks the complex web of circumstances that influence each person's journey. It fails to account for the myriad factors that contribute to success or failure, many of which are beyond an individual's control. By normalizing this phrase, we risk minimizing the diverse challenges and barriers that people face, perpetuating a simplistic and often harmful narrative about achievement.

Firstly, it is crucial to acknowledge that privilege plays a significant role in the opportunities available to individuals. Privilege can come in many forms, including socioeconomic status, race, gender, education, and access to resources. Those who grow up in affluent families have access to better education, networks, and opportunities that can pave the way for success. In contrast, individuals from disadvantaged backgrounds may have to overcome significant obstacles just to reach the starting line. The phrase "If they can, so can you" ignores these disparities, implying that everyone starts from the same point, which is far from the truth.

Moreover, the societal structures and systems in place often favor certain groups over others. Systemic inequalities, such as racism, sexism, and ableism, create barriers that make it more difficult for marginalized individuals to succeed. For example, women and people of color often face discrimination in the workplace, limiting their career advancement opportunities. People with disabilities may encounter physical and societal barriers that restrict their access to education and employment. By suggesting that everyone can achieve the same level of success regardless of these factors, we disregard the impact of these systemic issues and place the burden of overcoming them solely on the individual.

Additionally, personal circumstances and life events play a significant role in shaping one's path to success. Health issues, family responsibilities, and unexpected crises can derail even the most determined individuals. For instance, someone dealing with a chronic illness may not have the same energy and resources to pursue their goals as someone in good health. Similarly, a person who is the primary caregiver for a family member may have less time and flexibility to dedicate to their aspirations. The phrase "If they can, so can you" fails to consider these personal challenges, promoting an unrealistic and one-dimensional view of success.

It is also important to recognize that people have different strengths, talents, and interests. What works for one person may not work for another. Each individual has unique skills and passions that shape their path in life. For example, someone who excels in mathematics may find success in a career in engineering, while someone with a talent for writing may thrive in a literary field. Encouraging people to follow a one-size-fits-all approach to success can lead to frustration and a sense of inadequacy when their efforts do not yield the same results as others. Instead of promoting the idea that everyone can achieve the same goals, we should celebrate diverse paths to success and encourage individuals to pursue their own unique passions and strengths.

Furthermore, the phrase "If they can, so can you" can contribute to a culture of toxic positivity, where individuals are pressured to maintain an optimistic outlook regardless of their circumstances. This can be particularly damaging for those struggling with mental health issues, as it implies that their difficulties are a result of their own lack of effort or positivity. Mental health challenges are complex and multifaceted, often requiring professional support and treatment. By promoting the idea that success is solely a matter of willpower, we risk stigmatizing those who are unable to achieve their goals due to mental health struggles and discourage them from seeking the help they need.

Instead of saying "If they can, so can you," we should encourage a mindset of resilience and adaptability. It is more constructive to acknowledge the achievements of others as a source of inspiration rather than a benchmark that everyone must meet. We can celebrate the success of others while also recognizing that each person's journey is different and that it is okay to take a different path to reach one's goals. By fostering a culture of empathy and understanding, we can support each other in overcoming challenges and achieving success in our own unique ways.

We should recognize the unique circumstances of each person's life, celebrate diverse paths to success, and advocate for systemic changes that create more equitable opportunities for all. By doing so, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment that empowers everyone to pursue their goals and achieve success in their own way.