Lando Norris has known Stephania Anderson almost his whole life, but the childhood friends had a rough falling out when she started dating his then teammate. Now four years later, he finds himself back in her life and he has to deal with the feelin...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
18. Lying To My Therapist
Lando's Perspective
It's been three weeks since I last saw Niah, three weeks since everything went to hell. I can't believe how quickly things unraveled. I'm stuck here, thousands of miles away, knowing she's falling apart, and I can't do a damn thing about it.
I text her every day, trying to keep her grounded, but I can see right through her replies. She's lying, telling me she's doing better, that she's just tired or busy. But I know Niah. I can tell from the way she's avoiding any real conversation, from the way her messages are getting shorter and shorter. She's not okay, and it's killing me that I can't be there for her.
She hasn't spoken to her family either. Her mom texted me a few days ago, asking if I knew how she was doing. That's when I realized just how bad it is. Niah loves her mom, she'd never shut her out unless she was really hurting. I didn't have the heart to tell her mom the truth, so I lied, saying Niah was just taking some time to herself. But now, that lie feels like a weight around my neck.
And the worst part? The way I feel about her. It's not just friendship, hasn't been for a long time. I care about her more than I probably should. I thought we could go back to just being friends like we used to, but once again my stupid feelings are getting in the way.
Seeing her like this, knowing she's suffering and that I'm helpless to stop it, it's tearing me apart. I want to be there with her, to hold her, to tell her it's going to be okay, even if I don't know if that's true. But I can't, and that frustration is eating me alive.
Carlos. God, I hate seeing him and his name all over the place, like he's some kind of hero. He's out there, living his life, smiling for the cameras, while Niah is trapped in her own misery. If I could, I'd take the next flight out of here, just to show her that she's not alone, that she has people who love her, who would do anything for her. But I can't just leave, not with the races and my tight schedule lately.
So I'm stuck, pacing my hotel room, staring at my phone, waiting for a message that never comes. I know I need to do something, but I don't know what. I keep thinking about calling Mariá or Carla, maybe they could go see her, but I'm not sure she'd even open the door. She's isolating herself, and I'm terrified of what might happen if this keeps going.
I wish I could tell her how much she means to me, that I'm not just worried as a friend, but because I love her. But what good would that do now? She's already dealing with too much, and the last thing she needs is to hear about my feelings. She needs support, not more complications.
I just hope she knows that, no matter what, I'm here for her. Even if it's from a distance, even if I have to keep lying to myself that everything will be okay. Because losing her, really losing her, is something I don't think I could handle.
